旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid odd phrases (e.g. “feeling of flesh”), and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it under five sentences. Focus on reasons and an example of what you notice.

範例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I like spotting new landscapes because they give me a sense of where I am going and make the journey more interesting. For example, I often notice old houses, fields and small shops, which help me remember the route. Also, watching the scenery helps me relax during long trips.

建議: Make the sentence structure more natural and concise. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific reason and a short example. Correct verb forms and reduce repetition.

範例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I enjoy photography. I like to capture interesting light or unusual buildings so I can remember the mood of the journey. For instance, I once photographed a colorful sunset from a moving bus and it reminded me of that trip when I looked at the picture later.

建議: Answer directly (mountains or sea), avoid unclear phrases like “each side deal,” and give two concise supporting reasons linked logically. Use specific sensory details and finish the sentence fully.

範例: I prefer the sea because the sound of the waves relaxes me and the open horizon feels peaceful. Also, seeing people sunbathing and enjoying themselves creates a carefree atmosphere. When I visit the coast I like sitting on the sand and listening to the water, which helps me unwind.

× Personally, I always look out of the window to see new landscape that I have never seen before, which tells me to get into the feeling of flesh and get into the place that I would travel.

✓ Personally, I always look out of the window to see new landscapes that I have never seen before, which helps me feel immersed and imagine the places I might travel to.

Errors: 'new landscape' should be plural 'new landscapes' (singular/plural issue) and 'tells me to get into the feeling of flesh' is incorrect phrasing. I corrected to 'helps me feel immersed' to use a natural verb+ing structure and meaning. 'Get into the place that I would travel' is awkward; change to 'imagine the places I might travel to' for correct verb form and idiomatic use. Suggestion: use plural for countable nouns when referring to multiple items; use 'feel' + adjective or 'feel' + past participle ('immersed') rather than literal 'get into the feeling of flesh'. Use 'might' or 'would' with 'travel to' for hypothetical future travel. Note: This suggestion addresses issues 1 and 8 from the provided list.

× Yes, personally I am a photographer too, so I really enjoy to take some picture pictures of the landscape outside the car window to when I look back I can remember what the feelings right there.

✓ Yes, personally I am a photographer too, so I really enjoy taking pictures of the landscape outside the car window so that when I look back I can remember the feelings I had there.

Errors: 'enjoy to take' is incorrect; verbs like 'enjoy' should be followed by the -ing form: 'enjoy taking' (verb + -ing form). 'some picture pictures' contains repetition and incorrect countable noun form; use plural 'pictures' (singular/plural issue). 'to when I look back' is ungrammatical; use 'so that when I look back' for purpose. 'what the feelings right there' is wrong order and missing tense; use 'the feelings I had there.' Suggestion: follow 'enjoy' with gerund, use plural for multiple photos, and use clear subordinate clause 'so that when...' to show purpose.

× Personally I prefer to each side deal because it helps me feel relaxed with the wave sounds and also the people are sunbathing near the beach it makes me feel calm and.

✓ Personally, I prefer each side equally because both help me feel relaxed: the sound of the waves and people sunbathing near the beach make me feel calm.

Errors: 'prefer to each side deal' is ungrammatical and unclear; corrected to 'prefer each side equally' to express equal preference (sentence structure error). 'the wave sounds' should be 'the sound of the waves' (word order/adjective use). The clause 'and also the people are sunbathing near the beach it makes me feel calm and' is a run-on and incomplete; split into clearer clauses and complete the thought. Also adjust verb agreement: plural subject 'people' with plural verb 'make'. Suggestion: use clear phrase for preference, correct noun phrases for sound, and avoid run-ons by using punctuation or conjunctions and ensure verb agreement.