旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 주제에 직접 답하고 이유를 논리적으로 연결해야 합니다. 문장 연결이 자연스럽지 않고 문법 오류(예: 'the traveling' → 'travel' 또는 'travelling', 분리된 문장 'Which I can't see…'는 잘못된 관계사 사용)가 있습니다. 답변을 2~3문장으로 간결하게 하고 연결어(for example, so, because)를 사용하여 이유를 명확히 하세요. 구체적인 예시(어떤 풍경을 보는지)를 추가하면 더 좋습니다.

範例: Yes, I usually look out of the window because travelling lets me see a variety of landscapes I don't encounter in my everyday life. For example, I enjoy watching changing fields and small villages pass by, which feels relaxing and interesting.

建議: 내용은 괜찮지만 시제와 단어 선택에 주의해야 합니다('when I was in car' → 'when I was in the car', 'I take' → 'I took'). 또한 문장이 길어질 때 연결어를 사용해 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 사진을 찍는 이유(빛, 색, 구도 등)를 구체적으로 덧붙이면 더 설득력 있습니다.

範例: Yes, I often take photos of the view from the car window because the light and clouds can create beautiful scenes. For instance, last month I took several pictures of dramatic clouds and warm evening light that made the landscape look stunning.

建議: 직접적인 주제문은 있으나 문법과 연결 표현이 어색합니다('sounds of wave' → 'the sound of the waves', 'so also'는 부자연스럽습니다). 이유를 더 구체적으로 설명하고 하나 또는 두 개의 구체적 예(활동, 감정)를 덧붙이세요. 문장은 최대 4~5문장으로 유지하세요.

範例: I prefer the sea because I love the ocean and the sound of the waves, which I find very calming. Also, I enjoy coastal activities like walking on the beach and watching sunsets, so visiting the seaside helps me relax and recharge.

× Yeah, because the traveling gives me a diverse view. Which I can't see in my daily life.

✓ Yeah, because traveling gives me a variety of views that I can't see in my daily life.

The first fragment uses an unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'traveling' and 'diverse view' is unnatural; 'a variety of views' is better. The second part 'Which I can't see...' is a sentence fragment beginning with a relative pronoun; it should be connected to the previous clause. Suggestion: remove 'the', change 'diverse view' to 'a variety of views', and combine clauses into one complete sentence.

× For example, when I was in car, I take photos with clouds in the sky because it was really beautiful at the moment.

✓ For example, when I was in the car, I took photos of the clouds in the sky because it was really beautiful at the time.

This sentence mixes past ('was') with present simple ('take'); maintain past tense throughout. Also 'in car' needs the article 'the', and 'photos with clouds' is better phrased as 'photos of the clouds'. Use 'at the time' instead of 'at the moment' for a past reference.

× For example, when I was in car, I take photos with clouds in the sky because it was really beautiful at the moment.

✓ For example, when I was in the car, I took photos of the clouds in the sky because it was really beautiful at the time.

Prepositions and articles are incorrect: 'in car' requires 'in the car'. 'Photos with clouds' is unnatural; use 'photos of the clouds'. 'At the moment' typically refers to now; for past events use 'at the time'.

× I prefer the sea because I really like oceans and the sounds of wave so also I enjoy traveling at the ocean.

✓ I prefer the sea because I really like the ocean and the sound of waves, so I also enjoy traveling by the sea.

'Oceans' can be singular 'the ocean' when referring generally. 'The sounds of wave' is incorrect: use 'the sound of waves' or 'the sounds of waves'. 'Traveling at the ocean' is unidiomatic; use 'traveling by the sea' or 'to the sea'. Grammar here involves noun forms and collocations.