旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구성과 논리 전개를 더 명확하게 하세요. 답변 첫 문장은 질문에 바로 답하고, 이어서 이유나 구체적 예시를 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 현재 반복(‘I enjoy driving’, ‘I love driving’)을 줄이고, ‘멈출 수 없다’는 상황을 자연스럽하게 설명하기 위해 연결어(so, but, because 등)를 사용하세요. 또한 문장 수를 3~4문장 내로 유지하고 시제와 관사 사용에 주의하세요.

範例: Yes, I do. I usually enjoy driving and looking out at the scenery because it helps me relax. However, when I see a really nice view I often can't stop immediately, so I make a note of the spot and come back later to take photos.

建議: 아이디어는 좋지만 문장이 너무 길고 혼란스럽습니다. 한 문장에 한 아이디어를 담고, 연결어를 적절히 사용해 문장들을 나누세요. 예를 들어 주된 이유(대학 가는 길이라 변화 관찰)를 먼저 말하고, 구체적 행동(사진 찍기, 차 세우기)을 이어서 설명하세요. 문법(현재완료/과거 시제)과 자연스러운 표현('on my way to college', 'notice changes')을 개선하면 점수 상승에 도움이 됩니다.

範例: Yes, I often take photos from my car window because I drive the same road to college every day. That routine lets me notice small changes in the cityscape, so if something catches my eye I sometimes stop the car to take pictures.

建議: 좋은 이유들을 제시했지만 표현을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 다듬으세요. 첫 문장으로 바로 선택을 말하고, 이유들을 논리적으로 연결어(with, because, moreover 등)를 사용해 정리하세요. 구어체 표현('Yeah')는 시험에서는 피하고, 문장 수를 2~3문장으로 유지하면 더 깔끔합니다.

範例: I prefer the mountains. I like the green scenery of trees and grass because it feels fresh and cool under the shade, and it's usually much quieter than the seaside.

× I usually enjoy driving my car and looking out the window at beautiful scenery.

✓ I usually enjoy driving my car and looking out the window at the beautiful scenery.

The noun scenery is being referred to specifically (the scenery visible while travelling), so the definite article the is needed before 'beautiful scenery' to be natural in English.

× Actually I love driving.

✓ Actually, I love driving.

A comma is needed after 'Actually' as an introductory adverb to separate it from the main clause for correct sentence flow and punctuation.

× Whenever I want to stop the car for a great scenery, I can't do it and take photos I want.

✓ Whenever I want to stop the car for a great view, I can't do so and take the photos I want.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun and 'a great scenery' is incorrect; use 'a great view' instead. Use 'do so' to avoid repeating 'stop the car'. 'Take photos I want' needs 'the' before 'photos' to specify which photos; also word order adjusted for clarity.

× Yes, I often take photos of the scenery from my car window because I traveled the same road to college on weekdays or so I can find that the changes of the road and environment related to the city, so I frequently stop my car and enjoy the changes.

✓ Yes, I often take photos of the scenery from my car window because I travel the same road to college on weekdays, so I can notice changes in the road and the environment related to the city; therefore I frequently stop my car and enjoy those changes.

Tense consistency: use present simple 'travel' (habit) instead of past 'traveled'. 'Find' is unnatural here; use 'notice'. 'The changes of the road and environment related to the city' is awkward; use 'changes in the road and the environment related to the city'. Use a semicolon or conjunctions to connect clauses more clearly and 'those changes' as a pronoun reference.

× I prefer the mountains because my favorite color is green and I love the trees and grass.

✓ I prefer the mountains because my favorite color is green, and I love the trees and the grass.

Parallel nouns 'trees and grass' are better with 'the' before 'grass' to match 'the trees' and sound natural when referring to specific natural elements in that context.

× I also enjoy the shade under the tree so it feels less hot and fresher.

✓ I also enjoy the shade under the trees because it feels less hot and fresher.

If speaking generally about mountains, use plural 'trees' or 'a tree'. 'So' as a conjunction is acceptable but 'because' clarifies cause. 'Feels less hot and fresher' is correct but 'because' improves clarity.

× Yeah, and quieter than seaside.

✓ Yes, and it is quieter than the seaside.

Informal 'Yeah' should be 'Yes' in a test context. The clause lacks a subject and verb; add 'it is'. 'Seaside' as a noun usually takes the definite article 'the' when comparing specific locations.