旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and use correct tense and clear phrases. Start with a topic sentence stating frequency, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words and keep it under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I sometimes look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, during my first trips around the city I enjoyed watching the buildings and neighbourhoods because they helped me understand the area. Also, I find looking outside relaxing and it makes long journeys feel shorter.

建議: Answer directly and improve grammar. Use a clear reason and a linking word to connect points. Avoid hesitations and incomplete phrases. Keep it concise and specific about why you don’t take photos.

範例: Not usually. When the car is moving it is difficult to get a clear photo with my phone, and the images are often blurry. Besides, I prefer to enjoy the view directly rather than looking through a screen.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then provide two specific reasons connected with linking words. Use correct vocabulary (e.g. 'sea' singular or 'the seaside/beach') and avoid unclear comparisons like 'crowded tree'.

範例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy sunny, mild winters and wide open views. In addition, beaches allow me to relax in the sun and take long walks, whereas mountains can feel crowded and colder.

× I sometimes do that when I was like first time writing around the city by buses that I rode so to see the scenery and the surrounding of the area and also it made me track off if it I still.

✓ I sometimes did that when I first rode around the city by bus to see the scenery and the surroundings, and it also made me lose track of time.

The original sentence mixes present and past tenses ('I sometimes do' with 'when I was') and uses incorrect word choices ('writing' instead of 'riding', 'track off' instead of 'lose track of time'). Use past tense 'did' and 'rode' to match the past action. Replace 'writing' with 'riding', 'buses that I rode' with 'rode by bus' for concision, and 'surrounding of the area' with 'surroundings'. This creates a clear, grammatically correct past-tense sentence.

× I am not often do that because of when the car is running it's quite hard to focus on the picture on the mobile I mean and I quite prefer more like absorbed.

✓ I don't often do that because when the car is moving it's quite hard to focus on pictures with my phone, and I prefer to just be absorbed in the view.

The original mixes auxiliary verb forms ('I am not often do') incorrectly. Use simple present negative 'I don't often do' for habitual actions. Use 'moving' instead of 'running' for vehicles, 'pictures with my phone' is clearer than 'picture on the mobile', and 'prefer to just be absorbed in the view' corrects awkward phrasing 'prefer more like absorbed'.

× I prefer the seas more because I enjoy the sunny winter rather than the crowded tree and also the beaches let me enjoy more of the sun and open views.

✓ I prefer the sea because I enjoy sunny winters more than crowded forests, and the beaches let me enjoy more sun and open views.

Use 'prefer the sea' or 'prefer the seaside' rather than 'seas' in this context. Match plural/singular for seasonal reference: 'sunny winters' rather than 'the sunny winter'. 'Crowded tree' is incorrect; likely intended 'crowded cities' or 'crowded forests' — corrected to 'crowded forests' as a plausible contrast. Simplify 'let me enjoy more of the sun' to 'let me enjoy more sun' for natural phrasing. Overall use simple present to express general preference.