旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Reduce filler words (uh, um) and correct small grammar issues (e.g., "when I travel to a new place"). Use linking words such as "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

範例: Yes. I usually look out the window when I travel to a new place because I enjoy seeing the overall view and local atmosphere. For example, on a recent bus trip I noticed how different the architecture and street life were compared with my hometown, which made the journey more interesting.

建議: Clarify and streamline your answer: give a direct response, explain the reason briefly, and provide a short follow-up example. Reduce hesitations and fix grammar ("electronic devices," "I don't like taking pictures in cars"). Use a linking word like "but" appropriately.

範例: No, I rarely take photos from a moving vehicle because I feel a little dizzy when using electronic devices in cars. But I do enjoy taking pictures after I get off the bus, for instance stopping at a viewpoint to capture the landscape.

建議: Give a clear direct preference, then provide specific reasons and one brief example. Avoid repeated words and hesitations. Use precise vocabulary ("sense of freedom," "horizon") and linking words like "because" and "for example."

範例: I prefer the sea because its vastness and the horizon give me a strong sense of freedom and calm. For example, when I sit by the shore and watch the waves, I feel more relaxed and able to think clearly.

× especially while I'm travelling the new place, I really like to look at the view, uh, from the window of the bus or the cars.

✓ especially when I'm travelling to a new place, I really like to look at the view from the window of the bus or the car.

The original sentence has incorrect preposition and article use and awkward tense phrasing. Use 'when' rather than 'while' for this habitual action, 'travelling to a new place' is the correct collocation, and 'the car' should be singular after 'bus' for parallelism. Maintain present continuous 'I'm travelling' for current habitual action.

× it's very interesting to see the overall view, uh, by the window because, uh, every country has different, uh, atmosphere and mood over the.

✓ it's very interesting to see the overall view from the window because every country has a different atmosphere and mood.

Remove filler words and fix preposition: use 'from the window' not 'by the window' here. Add the indefinite article 'a' before 'different atmosphere' because 'atmosphere' is countable in this context. Drop the trailing 'over the.' which is incomplete.

× Actually, umm, I feel a little bit dizzy when I'm using electric device in the cars or the buses.

✓ Actually, I feel a little bit dizzy when I'm using electronic devices in cars or buses.

Use plural 'devices' and the adjective 'electronic' instead of 'electric device'. Remove definite articles before 'cars' and 'buses' for general reference. 'Using' is fine in present continuous for the action.

× So I don't like to take pictures, uh, when I'm in the cars.

✓ So I don't like to take pictures when I'm in cars.

No definite article needed with plural 'cars' for general statements. Remove filler 'uh'.

× But after I get off the cars or the buses, I would like to get a take pictures of the views.

✓ But after I get off the car or the bus, I would like to take pictures of the views.

Use singular 'car or bus' when referring to getting off a single vehicle; remove extra 'get a' and use 'take pictures'. 'Views' can be plural if referring to multiple scenes.

× Actually, I prefer the sea because the the atmosphere and the mood of the sea is really, how can I say it, it's very vast and and I can feel free and liberty when I'm looking at the sea and the the horizontal line.

✓ Actually, I prefer the sea because the atmosphere and mood of the sea are really, how can I say it, very vast and I feel free when I'm looking at the sea and the horizon.

Use single 'the' and correct subject-verb agreement: 'atmosphere and mood' is a compound subject taking plural verb 'are'. Remove redundant words. Use 'feel free' rather than 'can feel free and liberty' and replace 'the horizontal line' with 'the horizon' for natural English.