旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more accurate and natural with grammar and vocabulary, and keep the answer concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct common errors (e.g. "when every time I'm gonna trip" → "when I travel for trips", "walk out the window" → "look out the window"). Avoid filler phrases like "you know" and limit to 3–4 sentences.

範例: It depends on the journey. When I travel for leisure, I usually look out the window because I enjoy imagining people's lives and noticing different places; for example, I often watch small towns and markets as we pass them. However, during my daily commute to work I rarely look outside because I prefer to rest or check my phone.

建議: Make sentences grammatically correct and precise; use linking words to connect ideas (e.g. "if" → "when", "and then"). Use vocabulary suited to photography (e.g. "edit" instead of "Polish"). Keep it within 2–4 sentences and give a specific example of when you photograph scenes.

範例: Sometimes I do, especially when I'm on a trip and see a beautiful sunrise or an interesting landscape. I usually take several shots from the window and then edit the best ones on my phone before posting them on social media.

建議: Organise into a short clear opinion sentence followed by 2 supporting details with correct grammar and varied vocabulary. Remove fillers ("you know", "every time" misuse). Use present tense consistently and correct forms ("when I dive", "my anxiety disappears"). Provide a specific example or brief explanation of why the sea helps you relax.

範例: I prefer the sea because I am a free diver and the ocean helps me relax. When I dive, everything is quiet and I can focus on my breathing, which calms my mind; for example, after a long day I often go for a short dive and feel much less anxious.

× Well, it really depends because when every time I'm gonna trip, I would always walk out the window because I can imagine the lives of different people outside the window.

✓ Well, it really depends because whenever I go on a trip, I always look out the window because I can imagine the lives of different people outside.

Errors: 'when every time' is redundant; use 'whenever'. 'I'm gonna trip' is informal and wrong tense/structure for habitual action; use 'I go on a trip'. 'would always walk out the window' mixes modal and incorrect verb; use simple present 'always look out the window' for habitual actions. Also 'walk out the window' is incorrect verb choice; we say 'look out the window'. Suggestions: use 'whenever' for repeated events, use simple present for habits, and choose correct verbs for actions (look, not walk).

× But when things come to, you know, like some daily commute when you just traveling to your workplace or school, I think I'm not in the mood to look out the window in this situation.

✓ But when it comes to daily commuting, when you are just traveling to your workplace or school, I don't feel like looking out the window in that situation.

Errors: 'when things come to' is incorrect phrasing; use 'when it comes to'. 'when you just traveling' is missing auxiliary verb; should be 'when you are just traveling'. 'I think I'm not in the mood' is wordy — simpler 'I don't feel like' fits better. Suggestions: use correct idiom 'when it comes to', include auxiliary verbs in continuous tenses, and prefer concise expressions for feelings or states.

× I think it depends on my mood if I'm gonna trip or I encountering some beautiful sunrise or sunset.

✓ I think it depends on my mood: if I'm going on a trip or if I encounter some beautiful sunrise or sunset.

Errors: 'I'm gonna trip' is informal and 'gonna' should be 'going to' or 'going on a trip'. 'I encountering' lacks auxiliary 'am' and incorrect verb form; use 'if I encounter'. Suggestions: avoid colloquial 'gonna' in formal speech, ensure correct auxiliary verbs with -ing forms, and parallel structure in conditional clauses.

× I would definitely take a lot of photos outside the window scenery and I would Polish the photos afterwards and post them in my social media.

✓ I would definitely take a lot of photos of the scenery outside the window, then edit the photos afterwards and post them on my social media.

Errors: 'photos outside the window scenery' has wrong preposition and word order; use 'photos of the scenery outside the window'. 'Polish' should be lowercase 'edit' or 'polish' — 'Polish' was capitalized incorrectly. 'post them in my social media' uses wrong preposition; use 'post them on my social media'. Suggestions: use 'of' to indicate the subject of photos, use 'on' for platforms, and use appropriate verbs like 'edit' for photo adjustments.

× I would definitely choose the sea because I'm actually a free diver in my real life.

✓ I would definitely choose the sea because I am actually a freediver in real life.

Errors: 'free diver' is usually written as one word 'freediver' or hyphenated; 'in my real life' is wordy — 'in real life' is natural. 'I'm' is acceptable but expand to 'I am' for clarity. Suggestions: use standard compound nouns and concise adverbial phrases.

× You know when every time I'm dive into the water, everything becomes quiet and I can finally hear my own thoughts clearly.

✓ You know, whenever I dive into the water, everything becomes quiet and I can finally hear my own thoughts clearly.

Errors: 'when every time I'm dive' is ungrammatical and redundant; use 'whenever I dive'. 'I'm dive' mixes auxiliary with base verb incorrectly. Suggestions: use 'whenever' for repeated events and use base verb after subject for simple present: 'I dive'.

× And I think ocean is stunning and gorgeous.

✓ And I think the ocean is stunning and gorgeous.

Errors: missing definite article before 'ocean'; use 'the ocean'. Also style: 'stunning and gorgeous' are synonymous—acceptable but could be varied. Suggestions: include the definite article with singular nouns referring to unique entities and vary adjectives if desired.

× I think there is the only place where my anxiety can totally be disappear, so that's why I love it.

✓ I think it is the only place where my anxiety can completely disappear, so that's why I love it.

Errors: 'there is the only place' is unnatural; use 'it is the only place'. 'can totally be disappear' is ungrammatical: 'disappear' is intransitive and should not take 'be'; use 'can disappear' and prefer 'completely' over 'totally' for adverb placement. Suggestions: use correct existential construction when referring to a specific place, avoid unnecessary passive forms, and place adverbs before main verbs appropriately.