旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail and a linking word. Avoid small grammar mistakes and redundancy (e.g. ‘a social media’).

範例: Not really. I usually use my phone to browse social media or listen to music while travelling, but sometimes I sleep if the journey is long.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and one clear supporting reason using linking words. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g. ‘strike on me’ → ‘strikes me’). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Generally no, I prefer to enjoy the scenery rather than photograph it, because photos often don’t capture the feeling. However, if a view strikes me as unusually beautiful or unusual, I will take a quick picture.

建議: Provide a clear direct answer first, then give specific, grammatical supporting details using linking words. Avoid confusing phrases and repetition. Use correct tense and vocabulary (e.g. ‘I prefer the mountains; I grew up on a mountainside’).

範例: I prefer the mountains because I grew up on a mountainside and feel more comfortable there. For example, I love the sight of green trees, the way branches sway in the wind, and the cool shade they provide in the morning.

× No, mostly I'm on my phone doing a social media or listening to music or just sleep.

✓ No, mostly I'm on my phone, using social media, listening to music, or just sleeping.

Parallel gerund forms are required after 'I'm on my phone'; 'doing a social media' is incorrect collocation and 'sleep' should be the -ing form to match the other activities. Use 'using social media' instead of 'doing a social media', and make the list parallel: 'using..., listening..., sleeping.' Suggestion: Keep verbs in the same -ing form when listing simultaneous activities.

× Oh, I prefer to admire the view outside of the car, so taking photos is not an option. But if the view strike on me, I might take a photo of it.

✓ Oh, I prefer to admire the view outside the car, so taking photos is not an option. But if the view strikes me, I might take a photo of it.

Subject-verb agreement in the present simple requires 'strikes' for the third-person singular subject 'the view'. Also 'strike on me' is incorrect collocation; use 'strike me' or 'catch my eye'. Remove the unnecessary preposition 'of' after 'outside.' Suggestion: Use third-person singular 'strikes' and correct collocations like 'strike me' or 'catch my eye.'

× I am more on a mountain person growing up on a mountainside, so I prepare mountains.

✓ I am more of a mountain person; I grew up on a mountainside, so I prefer mountains.

Multiple issues: 'more on a mountain person' is unidiomatic; use 'more of a mountain person.' 'Growing up' indicates past situation so use past tense 'I grew up' to match. 'I prepare mountains' is wrong word choice; likely 'prefer' was intended. Fix subject-verb and tense consistency and use correct verb 'prefer.' Suggestion: Use idiomatic phrase 'more of a mountain person,' match tense for past experiences, and choose the correct verb 'prefer.'

× The green lashes of trees, the swing of the branches when there was when there is a wind and the shade that it will give when it sunrise.

✓ The green leaves of the trees, the swinging branches when there is wind, and the shade they give at sunrise.

Several problems: 'lashes' is the wrong noun; use 'leaves.' 'The swing of the branches' is awkward; use 'the swinging branches.' Tense consistency and phrasing: 'when there was when there is a wind' is garbled — choose present 'when there is wind.' 'The shade that it will give when it sunrise' has pronoun and article errors: use plural 'they give' for 'branches' or 'trees' and 'at sunrise' for time expression. Fix prepositions and noun choices for natural English. Suggestion: Use correct nouns ('leaves'), simplify constructions ('swinging branches'), maintain consistent tense, and use 'at sunrise.'