视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce redundancy and split into a clear topic sentence plus one supporting detail. Avoid run-on sentence and incorrect linking phrase “on the other hand” here. Use a linking word like “and” or “so” to connect ideas. Be slightly more specific about what kinds of scenes you like.

範例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views, especially landscapes when I travel. I take photos to remember special moments and places, and I often post my favourite shots on social media to share them with friends.

建議: Correct factual or word-choice errors (you said “foods” instead of “views”) and avoid repeating “so.” Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give one specific reason and one brief example. Remove filler phrases like “for me” and limit to three to four sentences.

範例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the hustle and bustle and the variety of architecture. For example, I like photographing old facades and modern skyscrapers, which create interesting contrasts in my photos. When I have time, I edit and post the best shots online.

建議: Avoid hesitations and finish your sentence clearly. Give a concise topic sentence saying that your preference varies, then provide two clear conditions with specific examples. Replace vague phrase “see different” with “see different landscapes or cultures.”

範例: It depends on my mood and schedule: when I'm busy I prefer views in my own country, such as watching coastal sunsets near my hometown. But when I have more free time, I like to travel abroad to photograph different landscapes and cultural scenes.

× Yes, I love taking pictures of different views, especially capturing the beautiful scenery when I am travelling as taking photos helps me remember the special moments and places.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of different views, especially capturing beautiful scenery when I am travelling, as taking photos helps me remember special moments and places.

The sentence uses redundant definite articles ('the beautiful scenery', 'the special moments and places') where general references are intended. Removing 'the' makes the nouns general and matches the speaker's intention. Also a comma is needed before 'as' to connect the clauses clearly. Suggestion: omit unnecessary articles for general statements and add comma before conjunctions that introduce reasons.

× I enjoy sharing my pictures on social media with my friends on the other hand.

✓ I enjoy sharing my pictures on social media with my friends. On the other hand, I also like posting photos publicly.

The phrase 'on the other hand' is misconnected to the previous clause and needs to introduce a contrasting idea; it cannot be attached at the end of the sentence without punctuation and a contrast. Either remove it or place it at the start of a contrasting sentence. Suggestion: split into two sentences or reposition the conjunction to begin the contrasting remark.

× Well for me I would prefer foods in urban areas and I enjoy the hustle and bustle of life in the city.

✓ Well, for me I would prefer food in urban areas, and I enjoy the hustle and bustle of life in the city.

'Foods' is unnatural in this context; 'food' (uncountable) is the correct general noun for cuisine. Also commas improve clarity after introductory phrases. Suggestion: use 'food' when speaking generally about cuisine and add punctuation for readability.

× So I love capturing the scenery in the city a lot, especially the buildings and architecture.

✓ I love capturing city scenery, especially the buildings and architecture.

The phrase 'the scenery in the city a lot' is awkward; 'a lot' should modify 'love' rather than the noun phrase. Rewriting to 'I love capturing city scenery' produces a clearer structure. Suggestion: place adverbs near the verb they modify and simplify noun phrases.

× So if I have time I would love to post all the photos.

✓ So if I have time, I would love to post all the photos.

Grammatically the sentence is fine but needs a comma after the conditional 'if' clause. Modal 'would' is appropriate for tentative desire. Suggestion: include comma after introductory conditional clauses for clarity.

× Well, I think it depends on my moods and also my interests.

✓ Well, I think it depends on my mood and also my interests.

Use singular 'mood' in the common expression 'depends on my mood' meaning current state; 'moods' is possible but less natural here. Suggestion: prefer singular for idiomatic phrasing.

× Uh, if I am uh, very busy with my work, I would prefer umm, enjoying the views in my country, for example the sunset.

✓ If I am very busy with work, I would prefer enjoying views in my country, for example the sunset.

Remove filler words 'uh' and 'umm' for clarity. 'Prefer enjoying' is slightly awkward but acceptable; better: 'I would prefer to enjoy views in my country.' Also comma placement: no comma after 'country' before example; include 'for example,' with comma after it. Suggestion: eliminate fillers, use 'prefer to enjoy' for smoother structure, and punctuate examples properly.

× And if I have time, I would love to travel abroad to see different.

✓ And if I have time, I would love to travel abroad to see different places.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'different' which is an adjective requiring a noun. Add the noun 'places' to complete the thought. Suggestion: ensure adjectives are followed by the nouns they modify or use a noun phrase.