公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cần giảm tiếng ậm ừ và lặp từ, trả lời rõ ràng bằng một câu chủ đề rồi bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể hơn. Ví dụ, nêu hoạt động cụ thể bạn thường làm ở công viên (như chơi bóng, dắt chó, picnic) và dùng liên từ (because, so) để liên kết ý. Giữ tối đa 4-5 câu, tránh lặp cấu trúc và sai ngữ pháp như 'going to part'.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because my family often had picnics there. We usually played ball games and fed the ducks, which made those outings very enjoyable. Those simple outdoor activities were memorable because we spent quality time together.

建議: Cần nói mạch lạc hơn, tránh ngắt quãng và dùng từ đúng (major → older/mature, pass → parks). Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, rồi đưa lý do cụ thể và một ví dụ ngắn. Dùng liên từ (because, so, therefore) để nối ý.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and reconnect with nature after a long day. For example, I often take a 30-minute walk there to clear my mind and reduce stress from work or studying.

建議: Cần sửa từ vựng sai (parts→parks, paths→parks/green spaces) và diễn đạt rõ nguyên nhân cùng kết quả. Trình bày một câu chủ đề rồi giải thích cụ thể hơn (ví dụ về lợi ích: không khí sạch, nơi tập thể dục). Tránh câu không hoàn chỉnh và lặp từ.

範例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they improve air quality and provide spaces for exercise. More green areas would encourage people to walk or jog, which benefits public health and reduces pollution.

建議: Cần trả lời trực tiếp và rõ ràng; sửa nhầm lẫn từ (pub→park) và hoàn thiện ý. Nêu rõ nếu bạn có một công viên cụ thể hoặc nói bạn thích những công viên có đặc điểm gì (nhiều cây, yên tĩnh) và dự định khi nào đi. Dùng 1‑2 câu bổ sung với liên từ để giải thích lý do.

範例: I don't have a specific park in mind, but I prefer parks with lots of trees and quiet spots. In the future I plan to visit such parks on weekends to relax and read under a tree.

× Yes, I did, uh, when I was a child, umm, the technology was not improved, was not improved.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child, technology had not improved.

The student used simple past 'was not improved' which is passive and incorrect for general development; past perfect 'had not improved' is appropriate to indicate a state before that time. Suggestion: use active constructions and past perfect to show earlier states (e.g., 'technology had not improved').

× Uh, so that, uh, the choice is, uh, going out, uh, is going to part, uh, with my family is the best, uh, best choice for me.

✓ So going out to parks with my family was the best choice for me.

The original sentence is disfluent and contains wrong word order and word forms ('is going to part' incorrect). Correction uses clear past tense and correct noun 'parks'. Suggestion: simplify sentences, place verb after subject, and use correct nouns ('parks').

× Yes, I do. Uh, when I got, uh, when I got major, uh, I think uh going to pass uh is a way to, uh, be, to become closer with nature and uh, reduce the stress after work hard or studying.

✓ Yes, I do. When I grew older, I think going to parks is a way to become closer to nature and reduce stress after hard work or study.

Multiple tense and word choice errors: 'when I got major' is wrong — use 'when I grew older'. 'going to pass' is incorrect — should be 'going to parks'. Use present simple 'is' for general truths. 'become closer with nature' should be 'closer to nature'. 'after work hard or studying' corrected to 'after hard work or study'. Suggestion: use standard expressions ('grow older', 'closer to nature', 'after hard work').

× Yes, I would like to see more parts in my city because the number of paths is rising.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because the number of parks is increasing.

The student used 'parts' and 'paths' incorrectly instead of 'parks'. Also 'rising' is less natural than 'increasing' in this context. Suggestion: use the correct noun 'parks' and the collocation 'number of parks is increasing'.

× Also the meaning that the air pollution is reduced.

✓ Also, it means that air pollution is reduced.

The original phrase 'the meaning that' is awkward and ungrammatical. Use 'it means that' to express the idea. Also 'the air pollution' can be 'air pollution' in general. Suggestion: use 'it means that' and omit unnecessary 'the'.

× This is better for for my health.

✓ This is better for my health.

There is a duplicated preposition 'for for'. Remove the repeated word. Suggestion: proofread to avoid duplicated words and keep single preposition 'for'.

× Uh, actually, I don't have the purpose, uh, of, uh, the destination, uh, part, uh, what week I want to go, uh, because I just like going to pub because, uh, that have, uh, lots of tree and.

✓ Actually, I don't have a specific destination or date in mind because I just like going to parks; they have lots of trees.

This sentence has many structural problems: wrong nouns ('pub' instead of 'park'), missing articles ('a specific destination'), wrong verb agreement ('that have' should be 'they have'), and incomplete ending. Correction clarifies meaning, uses plural 'parks' and correct agreement. Suggestion: plan sentence before speaking: use 'I don't have a specific destination or date in mind' and ensure subject-verb agreement ('parks have').