整洁— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Bạn nên sửa ngữ pháp và cấu trúc câu để trả lời rõ ràng hơn; tránh dùng từ không phù hợp như “speak” hay cấu trúc thời gian lẫn lộn. Giữ câu ngắn gọn (tối đa 3-4 câu), nêu ý chính, một lý do và một ví dụ cụ thể. Dùng liên từ đơn giản (because, so, for example) để nối ý.

範例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy because it helps me feel calm. When my desk and room are organized, I can focus better. For example, I always make my bed and clear my desk every morning so I can start work quickly.

建議: Cần nói rõ hiện tại và quá khứ bằng thì đúng (used to, was, now). Tránh dùng từ mang nghĩa tiêu cực quá nặng như “ignorant” cho bản thân; thay bằng “untidy” hay “messy”. Sử dụng liên kết để so sánh quá khứ và hiện tại (but, however, now).

範例: I didn’t keep my room tidy when I was a child because I was quite messy and my parents usually tidied it for me. However, now I am more responsible and I clean my room regularly.

建議: Trình bày cụ thể các hành động bạn làm để giữ gọn gàng (ví dụ: put books on shelf, use boxes, tidy desk). Sửa lỗi từ vựng/ cấu trúc như “visual harmony” và “productive”; dùng tính từ phù hợp (visually tidy, more productive). Giữ tối đa 3 câu, dùng liên từ (for example, so, which).

範例: I keep my study space tidy by putting books on the shelf and using boxes for stationery. I also clear my desk at the end of each day so it is ready for the next session. This helps me stay focused and be more productive.

建議: Nên trả lời trực tiếp, dùng lý do rõ ràng và câu mạch lạc. Tránh dịch từ tiếng Việt quá sát (e.g., “have me better”). Nên dùng cấu trúc như Because + reason, and + additional detail. Thêm ví dụ hoặc kết quả cụ thể (e.g., fewer distractions, faster finding things).

範例: Yes, I think being tidy is important because it reduces distractions and helps me concentrate. For example, when my room is clean I can find materials quickly and feel less stressed, so I work more efficiently.

× Yes, I'd like to keep things tidy because I like everything I speak and spend or will care of.

✓ Yes, I'd like to keep things tidy because I like everything I own and take care of.

The original sentence uses incorrect pronouns and verbs ('speak and spend or will care of') that do not convey ownership or care. Replace with 'own and take care of' to express possession and responsibility. Use parallel structure: 'own and take care of'.

× When I arrange things I feel relaxed and comfortable.

✓ When I arrange things, I feel relaxed and comfortable.

Missing comma after the adverbial clause 'When I arrange things' improves readability. The verb forms are correct; punctuation clarifies the sentence.

× For example, I always clean my room so I can work quickly.

✓ For example, I always clean my room so I can work more quickly.

Add the adverb 'more' to compare speed with and without cleaning; this clarifies the intended comparison. The tense is appropriate.

× When I will try, I never keep my room tidy because I was a messy and ignorant person so my parents cleaned it for me.

✓ When I was a child, I never kept my room tidy because I was messy and careless, so my parents cleaned it for me.

'When I will try' is incorrect for past habitual actions. Use past time expression 'When I was a child' and past simple 'kept'. 'Ignorant' is inappropriate for describing tidiness; 'careless' is better.

× Now I think differently.

✓ Now I think differently.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It correctly expresses present opinion.

× I am more responsible than before I clean up really.

✓ I am more responsible than before; I really clean up now.

Original combines clauses awkwardly. Split into two clauses and add 'now' to indicate current habit. Use adverb 'really' before verb for clarity.

× I always organize everything carefully and neatly because I feel related and responsible when it looks visual harmony and tidy.

✓ I always organize everything carefully and neatly because I feel calm and responsible when it looks harmonious and tidy.

'Related' is wrong; use 'calm' or 'comfortable'. 'Visual harmony' is awkward; use adjective 'harmonious'. Ensure adjective order and word choice are appropriate.

× Especially they can help me work more quickly and productive.

✓ They especially help me work more quickly and be more productive.

Pronoun 'they' refers to the organized things; rephrase for clarity. 'Productive' is an adjective and requires 'be more productive' or adverb 'productively'.

× I think that is very crucial because they have me better than before and I feel relaxed or comfortable.

✓ I think it is very important because it makes me feel better than before, and I feel relaxed and comfortable.

'That' should be 'it' referring to tidiness. 'They have me better' is incorrect; use 'it makes me feel better'. Combine feelings with conjunction and use appropriate adjectives.

× Moreover, I can concentrate my work, especially I have lived in a fresh environment.

✓ Moreover, I can concentrate on my work, especially when I am in a fresh environment.

Use the verb + preposition 'concentrate on'. The original tense 'I have lived' is wrong for describing current environment; use present 'I am' or 'when I am' to indicate condition. 'Fresh environment' is acceptable but 'a fresh environment' needs 'a'.