音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), and give one or two specific reasons with a brief example. Use a linking phrase before your contrast (e.g., "however").

範例: I usually prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and helps me concentrate when I work. For example, upbeat pop playlists keep me motivated during long study sessions; however, I sometimes choose sad songs when I want to reflect or relax.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and organise supporting points with a linking word (e.g., "because" or "and"). Remove hesitations and avoid repeating the same idea; instead offer a short specific example of when it makes you excited.

範例: Yes, it does, because upbeat songs boost my energy and change my outlook. For instance, listening to an energetic playlist before a presentation helps me feel confident and focused.

建議: Answer directly, then expand with a clear reason and a brief plan. Avoid fillers and keep sentences varied. Mention what kind of class you would take to add specificity.

範例: No, I haven't taken any music classes, but I would like to. I enjoy singing with my siblings, so I would enroll in a vocal technique or harmony course to improve my voice and learn how to perform with others.

建議: Start with a clear concise statement, then add two specific conditions and an example. Avoid awkward phrases ("in the corner") and reduce repetition about positive energy; explain exactly how music helps your work.

範例: Yes, I often play background music while working on projects, especially when I'm doing solo tasks or studying and not in meetings. For example, instrumental or lo-fi playlists help me concentrate by masking distractions and keeping my energy steady.

× 'it's a way of boosting my dopamine and uh through that I can be more positive and focus on my work and be on the present moment.'

✓ 'it's a way of boosting my dopamine and, through that, I can be more positive, focus on my work, and be in the present moment.'

'be on the present moment' uses the wrong preposition and incorrect verb form context; 'be in the present moment' is the idiomatic expression. Also add commas for clarity and parallel verb forms: 'be more positive, focus on my work, and be in the present moment.' Maintain -ing for 'boosting' which is correct.

× 'I do listen to sad music though, but it depends.'

✓ 'I do listen to sad music sometimes, but it depends.'

'though, but' is redundant and 'do listen' combined with 'though, but' creates awkwardness. Replace with 'sometimes' for natural present tense frequency adverb and keep 'but it depends' to show condition.

× 'It usually brings the positive energy and, uh, it, uh, helps me to look on the bright side and be on the current moment and enjoy what I have rather than focusing on what's not there.'

✓ 'It usually brings positive energy and helps me look on the bright side, be in the present moment, and enjoy what I have rather than focusing on what I don't have.'

'the positive energy' is unnecessarily specific; 'positive energy' is more natural. 'look on the bright side' should be 'look on the bright side' or 'look at the bright side' but 'look on' is acceptable; better to use 'look on the bright side' or 'look at the bright side'. 'be on the current moment' is incorrect preposition and adjective use; use 'be in the present moment'. 'what's not there' is informal and vague; 'what I don't have' is clearer.

× 'No, I haven't taken any music classes but I would love to because uh, I enjoy singing with my brother and sisters.'

✓ 'No, I haven't taken any music classes, but I would love to because I enjoy singing with my brothers and sisters.'

'brother and sisters' has number agreement problems and word order; use 'brothers and sisters' to indicate multiple siblings. Also add a comma before 'but' for clarity. Present perfect 'haven't taken' is correct to indicate experience up to now.

× 'So if I ever get a chance, uh, I would definitely enroll for a music class.'

✓ 'So if I ever get the chance, I would definitely enroll in a music class.'

'get a chance' is acceptable but 'get the chance' is more idiomatic here. Preposition after 'enroll' should be 'in' not 'for' when referring to classes. Remove filler 'uh' and keep conditional phrasing.

× 'Yes, I'll sometimes listen to music on the background when I'm working on any project or assignment, usually when I'm not communicating with my colleagues or I'm not in a meeting.'

✓ 'Yes, I sometimes listen to music in the background when I'm working on a project or assignment, usually when I'm not communicating with my colleagues or in a meeting.'

'on the background' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'in the background'. 'I'll sometimes' is awkward for habitual action; 'I sometimes' is better. 'any project' is odd here; 'a project' is natural. Remove redundant 'I'm' before 'not in a meeting' for conciseness.

× 'And when I'm in the corner, I'm doing my job. I play music and it helps me have a positive energy and increase my dopamine.'

✓ 'When I'm at my desk doing my work, I play music; it gives me positive energy and increases my dopamine.'

'in the corner' is unclear and unnatural for workplace context; 'at my desk' or 'at work' is clearer. 'I'm doing my job. I play music and it helps me have a positive energy and increase my dopamine.' is choppy; combine into one sentence and use correct verbs: 'gives me positive energy' (no article) and 'increases my dopamine.' Use parallel structure.