音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition like “it has like” and incorrect plural or verb forms.

範例: I prefer happy music because it gives me positive, cheerful energy that brightens my day. For example, upbeat pop songs help me feel motivated in the morning, whereas sad songs tend to lower my mood.

建議: Answer directly then give a specific example or situation. Reduce hesitation words and complete your final clause. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas and correct verb agreement (e.g., 'lifts').

範例: Yes. Happy music definitely lifts my spirits because the upbeat tempo energises me. For instance, when I need to exercise or finish a task quickly, I play fast, happy songs to stay motivated.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and then list a couple of specific activities you did, using linking words like 'for example' or 'such as'. Remove hesitations and finish sentences fully.

範例: Yes, I took music classes at school because it was compulsory. For example, we practised singing, clapping to learn rhythm, and studied different genres such as classical and pop.

建議: Respond with a clear statement, then give specific contrasting examples. Fix grammar (e.g., 'it distracts me') and avoid trailing off. Use linking words like 'however' and 'for example'.

範例: Yes, but not when I need to concentrate. For example, I avoid music when studying because it distracts me; however, I enjoy listening to podcasts or upbeat music while cooking or tidying the house.

× Well I'd say I would definitely go with a music movie M happy music because it has like a positive energy.

✓ Well, I'd say I would definitely go with happy music because it has a positive energy.

Remove 'a' before 'positive energy' and the extraneous words 'a music movie M'. 'Energy' in this context is uncountable, so the article 'a' is unnecessary; also unrelated words made the sentence incoherent. Suggestion: keep the noun phrases simple and avoid inserting unrelated fillers.

× It can it has like the positive and cheerful vibes which can make my day.

✓ It has positive, cheerful vibes which can make my day.

Do not use the definite article 'the' before uncountable or general plural nouns when speaking generally. Also remove the redundant 'it can it has like'. Use commas between adjectives describing the same noun.

× On the other hand, sad music is quite depressed and they can down my mood.

✓ On the other hand, sad music is quite depressing and can bring down my mood.

Music is treated as singular or uncountable, so 'they' is incorrect; use no pronoun or 'it'. Also 'depressed' describes people; 'depressing' describes music. 'Bring down' is the correct phrasal verb for lowering mood.

× Yes, of course, uh, happy music has like positive and cheerful vibes, uh, and really lift my spirits up.

✓ Yes, of course, happy music has positive, cheerful vibes and really lifts my spirits.

Subject 'happy music' is singular, so the verb should be 'lifts' not 'lift'. Also 'lift my spirits up' can be shortened to 'lifts my spirits' to sound natural. Remove filler words.

× So, uh, whenever I need to do something uh, fast and something uh, or especially when my mood is down, I often go with happy music to make.

✓ So whenever I need to do something quickly, or especially when my mood is down, I often choose happy music to cheer myself up.

Original sentence is incomplete and mixes adjective/adverb forms. Use the adverb 'quickly' for 'do something fast'. The verb 'choose' is more appropriate than 'go with', and finish the clause with an object and purpose 'to cheer myself up'.

× MMM, well, I used to in the past, uh, music was a compulsory subject at my school, so we needed to attend those classes.

✓ Well, I used to. In the past, music was a compulsory subject at my school, so we had to attend those classes.

Split into two clearer sentences. Use 'had to' or 'were required to' instead of 'needed to' for past obligation; 'used to' should stand alone or be followed directly by the verb. Improve clarity by separating clauses.

× Umm, singing, uh, clapping, following the rhythm of the music, and also sometimes learning about umm, different types, different genres of music and different.

✓ We practiced singing, clapping, following the rhythm, and sometimes learned about different types and genres of music.

The original is a list fragment and ends abruptly. Make it a complete sentence with parallel structure: verbs in same form ('practiced', 'learned') and remove repetition 'different types, different genres' by combining them.

× Yes, definitely, but not things like, uh, when my brains work, like when I'm studying or working, I don't listen to music much because they can distract it can distracts me from what I'm doing.

✓ Yes, definitely, but not when I'm doing things that require my brain, like studying or working; I don't listen to music much because it can distract me from what I'm doing.

Use singular 'brain' (not 'brains') and singular pronoun 'it' for music. Remove redundancy 'they can distract it can distracts'. Use correct verb form 'can distract' and avoid double negatives. Improve clause order for clarity.

× Uh, I listen to music when I do uh, trivial things like cooking or.

✓ I listen to music when I do trivial things like cooking or cleaning.

Original sentence is incomplete, ending with 'or.' Provide a parallel activity to complete the list. Keep verb forms consistent and concise.