自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise, reduce hesitations, and finish your thought with a clear point. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (age, how you felt, a brief reason or memory). Use linking words to make it coherent and avoid filler words like “umm” or vague endings such as “I think it’s sort of.”

範例: Yes. I got a bicycle for my sixth birthday and I was very excited. Because it was my first time riding without training wheels, I spent every afternoon practicing in the park, and within a few weeks I could ride confidently.

建議: Give a clear, direct answer and support it with specific observations and linking words. Correct tense and grammar (use present/past consistently) and avoid vague phrases like “I think everyone.” Provide one or two concrete examples (places, reasons for popularity) to make the response more credible.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many families own at least one bicycle and I often see large clusters of bicycles parked outside schools and apartment blocks. Also, because traffic is heavy in cities, many people prefer cycling for short trips.

× I received a bike as my birthday present about umm, when I was six years old, and I didn't really ask my parents for it, but umm, I think it's sort of.

✓ I received a bike as my birthday present when I was six years old, and I didn't really ask my parents for it, but I think it was kind of surprising.

The original sentence had unnecessary filler 'about umm' and the clause 'I think it's sort of' mixes present tense 'it's' with a past context. Replace with past tense 'it was' to match the time frame and clarify meaning. Also remove filler and change 'sort of' to 'kind of surprising' for clarity and grammatical completeness. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent (past) when describing past events; avoid filler words and finish the thought with a clear adjective or phrase.

× I think everyone had had a bike when they are younger and I remember there were a lots of bicycles parking umm around my apartment and you can see children riding on.

✓ I think everyone had a bike when they were younger, and I remember there were a lot of bicycles parked around my apartment, and you could see children riding them.

Multiple issues: 'had had' is incorrect here — simple past 'had' is appropriate for a past habitual state. 'They are younger' should be past 'they were younger' to match. 'A lots of' is ungrammatical; use 'a lot of' or 'lots of'. 'Parking' should be the past participle 'parked' to describe their state. The clause 'you can see children riding on' is incomplete and mixes present 'can' with past context; use 'you could see' to match past narration and add object 'them' after 'riding'. Suggestion: Maintain consistent past tense when recounting memories; use correct quantifier 'a lot of'; use past participle for passive descriptions and include objects for verbs like 'ride' when needed.