分享— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Focus on clear, grammatically correct sentences with a direct topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations and irrelevant fragments. Use linking words (for example, 'so' or 'because') and correct verb forms (e.g., 'my parents taught me') to make the answer natural and coherent.

範例: Yes. My parents taught me to share when I was a child because they believed it builds empathy. For example, they encouraged me to share toys and snacks with my classmates so I could make friends and feel less stressed. As a result, sharing became a natural habit for me.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the types of things you share, then give two specific examples with linking words ('for example', 'also'). Minimize fillers (uh, umm) and use precise vocabulary (feelings, school workload, clothes preferences). Keep to 2–4 sentences.

範例: I usually share personal matters and school-related issues with my parents. For example, I tell them when my school workload feels heavy and how I am feeling emotionally. I also mention small things like not liking a particular outfit so they can understand my preferences.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence (e.g., 'I wouldn't share romantic relationships'), then briefly explain why with one or two specific reasons and a linking word like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g., 'keep it private' instead of 'keep it in nature').

範例: I wouldn't share details about my romantic relationships with my parents because those matters feel private and sensitive. For example, I prefer to keep information about a boyfriend private so I can sort out my feelings without pressure.

建議: Open with a direct answer, then give two specific examples of topics you share and explain the benefit using linking words ('for example', 'so', 'because'). Replace vague phrases ('good reliever') with clearer vocabulary ('support' or 'comfort'). Reduce repetition.

範例: Yes. Recently I have been sharing personal and work-related issues with my husband because he supports me emotionally. For example, we talk about stressful projects at work and my feelings about them, and his advice helps me feel calmer and more confident.

建議: Give a concise topic sentence naming the person, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words like 'because' and 'for example'. Remove repetition ('I think' twice) and use correct prepositions ('by my side').

範例: I would first share good news with my husband because he is always by my side and we have deep conversations. For example, when I get a promotion or achieve something personal, he is the first person I tell because he celebrates my successes with me.

建議: Start with a straightforward topic sentence about the type of news you share, then give a specific recent example and one detail about friends' reactions. Use correct tense and phrasing ('I'm getting married' or 'I am going to get married') and avoid repeated fillers.

範例: I usually share personal and happy news with my friends. For example, I recently told my friends that I am getting married, and they were very excited and eager to celebrate with me.

× What I was a trial, my parent always teach us how to be share things so that I can help me to release the stress.

✓ When I was a child, my parents always taught us how to share things so that I could relieve stress.

The original sentence has incorrect word order ('What I was a trial'), wrong verb forms ('teach' should be past taught), singular/plural errors ('parent' -> parents), incorrect phrase 'how to be share' and improper pronoun use ('so that I can help me to release the stress'). Use 'When I was a child' for time clause, past tense 'taught' for past habitual action, 'share' as base verb, and 'could relieve stress' to express ability in the past. Suggestion: use simple past for past habits and standard time clauses.

× Also to let my parent to know that what I am struggle to you that they will help me to, uh, better and educate me better.

✓ Also, to let my parents know what I am struggling with so that they can help and educate me better.

Errors: singular/plural ('parent' -> parents), unnecessary 'to' after 'let', incorrect verb form 'struggle' should be present participle 'struggling' with preposition 'with', and wrong modal 'will' better as 'can' for ability. Remove redundant words. Use 'so that' to express purpose.

× Uh, so it's really helpful for me.

✓ So, it was really helpful for me.

Context refers to childhood events, so past tense 'was' fits better than present 'is'. Adjust tense to match previous sentences about past experiences.

× The kind of things I'd like to share with my parents sometime about school, sometime about my personal life, Like, uh, what I, uh, what I am feeling at the moment and how the education and school is heavy and uh, sometimes that if I don't like uh, umm, the clothes.

✓ The kinds of things I'd like to share with my parents are sometimes about school and sometimes about my personal life, like how I am feeling at the moment, that school is stressful, and sometimes if I don't like my clothes.

Errors: 'The kind of things' should be plural 'The kinds of things' or 'Things I like to share', inconsistent tense and awkward phrases. 'Education and school is heavy' is ungrammatical; use 'school is stressful'. 'If I don't like the clothes' needs possessive 'my clothes'. Suggestions: use parallel structure and choose appropriate adjectives ('stressful').

× I think the kind of thing is not suitable to share with my parent is, uh, love, you know, because it's, it's a teenager.

✓ I think the kind of thing that is not suitable to share with my parents is my love life, because I'm a teenager.

Errors: 'parent' should be plural 'parents', 'love' vague—use 'love life', and 'it's, it's a teenager' is wrong pronoun and noun; should be 'I'm a teenager'. Also add 'that' for relative clause. Suggest using clearer noun phrases and correct pronouns.

× So sometime I don't like to share like, uh, if have boyfriend and how is it going?

✓ So sometimes I don't like to share, for example, whether I have a boyfriend and how it's going.

Errors: 'sometime' -> 'sometimes', missing subject 'I' in 'if have boyfriend', incorrect question word order 'how is it going' inside a statement should be 'how it's going'. Use nouns 'for example' and maintain sentence structure.

× I think it, I think it, I want to keep it in nature, so I don't want to share the thing.

✓ I think I want to keep it private, so I don't want to share it.

Redundancy and wrong phrase 'keep it in nature' (means unclear); use 'keep it private'. Avoid repeating phrases and use correct pronoun 'it' consistently.

× It's quite sensitive.

✓ It's quite a sensitive topic.

'Sensitive' as adjective needs a noun; 'topic' clarifies what is sensitive. This improves clarity and grammar.

× Yes, recently I normally do share things with my husband, uh, because we normally have a deep conversation about personal life, about work.

✓ Yes, recently I have been sharing things with my husband because we often have deep conversations about personal life and work.

Use present perfect continuous 'have been sharing' to describe recent habitual actions, 'normally do share' is awkward. Use 'often' instead of repeating 'normally' and pluralize 'conversations' and parallel 'personal life and work'.

× So he's really the good, good reliever.

✓ So he is really a good listener and a great support.

'Reliever' is incorrect noun here; use 'listener' or 'support'. Repeating 'good' is redundant. Choose appropriate noun to describe someone who relieves stress.

× So it's really a good reliever for me.

✓ So he really helps me relieve stress.

Awkward noun 'reliever' replaced with verb phrase 'helps me relieve stress' which is more natural and grammatical.

× So, umm, this is the thing that I really grateful to have him.

✓ So, I'm really grateful to have him.

Missing verb 'am' in 'I really grateful'; correct form 'I'm really grateful'. Remove 'this is the thing that' which is unnecessary. Use present tense to express current gratitude.

× I think the I think the first person I would like to share the new thing for this my husband because he always by my side and everything that we normally have a deep conversations about.

✓ I think the first person I would like to share news with is my husband because he is always by my side and we usually have deep conversations about everything.

Remove repeated 'I think the', use 'share news with', correct word order 'he is always by my side', and 'deep conversations' plural. Smooth sentence structure and prepositions.

× So everything is that happened in my life on my work, my personal life I always share with him.

✓ So everything that happens in my life, at work or in my personal life, I always share with him.

Use present simple 'happens' for habitual actions rather than past 'happened'. Correct prepositions: 'at work' and 'in my personal life'. Maintain clause order for clarity.

× The new I share with my friend recently is my wedding.

✓ The news I shared with my friends recently is that I'm getting married.

Use 'news' not 'new', 'shared' (past) or 'have shared' with 'recently' — 'shared' fits. Use 'that I'm getting married' instead of 'my wedding' for clarity and correct tense for future event 'getting married'.

× So they are really happy that I gonna get married.

✓ So they were really happy that I'm going to get married.

Colloquial 'gonna' should be 'going to'. Match tense: if referring to reaction at the time, past 'were really happy' is appropriate with 'recently'. Use proper auxiliary 'going to'.

× So they, they really, uh, uh, they really, uh, enjoy to uh, join my wedding.

✓ They really enjoyed joining my wedding or They are looking forward to joining my wedding.

'Enjoy to join' is incorrect; use 'enjoy joining' or 'look forward to joining'. Remove filler repetitions. Choose past or present continuous depending on context: 'enjoyed joining' if wedding already happened, or 'are looking forward to joining' if it is upcoming.