生日— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by avoiding redundancy and grammatical errors. Use simpler and correct phrases, and organise your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. For example, avoid phrases like 'in my opinion' when not necessary, and clarify what you mean by 'cheating and appreciation'.

範例: On my birthday, I usually treat it like a normal day. I wake up at the same time as usual, but my parents and relatives give me gifts and wishes, which makes the day special.

建議: Focus on using correct verb tenses and clearer vocabulary. Avoid vague words like 'incentives' and use more natural expressions like 'presents' or 'gifts'. Also, link your ideas logically and avoid awkward phrases like 'gives a very enthusiastic'.

範例: When I was young, I used to visit my neighbours on my birthday. They would give me presents, which made me very happy. It was always a special and exciting day for me.

建議: Improve sentence structure and clarity by breaking long sentences into shorter ones. Use correct grammar such as 'the day we were born' and avoid repetition. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

範例: Definitely. I believe a birthday is the only day we were born, so it is very memorable. It is important to celebrate it with parents and relatives, and usually we cut a cake together.

建議: Avoid repeating words like 'older, older' and try to express your ideas more clearly. Use linking phrases to make your answer coherent. Also, try to avoid starting with 'to be honest' if it does not add value to your answer.

範例: I think the most important birthdays to celebrate in China are those of elderly relatives. People show respect and honour to their elders on these special days.

× Well, in my opinion, it is like a ordinary day for me.

✓ Well, in my opinion, it is like an ordinary day for me.

The word 'ordinary' starts with a vowel sound, so the correct article to use is 'an' instead of 'a'. This is a common article usage rule in English to ensure smooth pronunciation.

× I usually wake up at the exact time that I wake in the other days and but there is a different thing that all the parents and other relatives are giving me cheating and appreciation for my birthday.

✓ I usually wake up at the exact time that I wake on other days, but there is a difference that all the parents and other relatives give me greetings and appreciation for my birthday.

The original sentence incorrectly uses both 'and' and 'but' together, which is redundant. Also, 'in the other days' should be 'on other days' as 'on' is the correct preposition for days. 'Cheating' is incorrect in this context; the intended word is likely 'greetings'. The verb tense and structure are adjusted for clarity and correctness.

× I usually go to my neighbors for further enjoyment.

✓ I usually went to my neighbors for further enjoyment.

The question refers to past events ('when you were young'), so the verb should be in the past tense 'went' instead of present tense 'go' to maintain tense consistency.

× They give me such type of incentives and gifts for my birthday, which gives a very enthusiastic for that time and it is one of the extraordinary.

✓ They gave me such types of incentives and gifts for my birthday, which made me very enthusiastic at that time, and it was extraordinary.

'Such type of' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'such types of' or simply 'such'. 'Gives a very enthusiastic' is incorrect; 'made me very enthusiastic' is appropriate. 'It is one of the extraordinary' is incomplete; 'it was extraordinary' is correct. Also, verb tense is changed to past to match the context.

× Well, I personally believe that birthday is the only day on which we born and it is the one of the memorable day and which every person knows and it is important to celebrate with other parents and relatives and cut cake.

✓ Well, I personally believe that a birthday is the only day on which we are born, and it is one of the memorable days that everyone knows. It is important to celebrate with parents and relatives and cut a cake.

'Birthday' needs an article 'a' because it is a countable noun. 'We born' is incorrect; it should be 'we are born' to form the passive voice. 'The one of the memorable day' is incorrect; it should be 'one of the memorable days'. 'Every person knows' is better expressed as 'everyone knows'. 'Other parents' is incorrect here; 'parents' suffices. 'Cut cake' needs an article 'a' to be correct.

× Well, to be honest, I never think about it, but yet I personally think that one of the most important birthdays that China wants to celebrate is that of their older, older relatives.

✓ Well, to be honest, I have never thought about it, but I personally think that one of the most important birthdays that people in China want to celebrate is that of their older relatives.

'I never think' should be 'I have never thought' to express experience up to now. 'China wants to celebrate' is incorrect because a country does not celebrate; people do. So 'people in China' is more appropriate. The repeated 'older, older' is redundant; one 'older' suffices.