生日— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 답변이 자연스럽고 명확하지만, 문장이 다소 길고 중복되는 표현이 있습니다. 또한, 연결어를 사용하여 문장 간의 논리적 흐름을 강화하면 좋겠습니다. 예를 들어, 'because'나 'so' 같은 연결어를 적절히 사용하고, 문장을 3~5문장 이내로 간결하게 구성하는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: I usually don't do anything special on my birthday because it falls during the exam period for Korean university students. Therefore, I spend most of the day studying for exams and preparing reports.

建議: 답변이 직접적이지만, 문법적 오류와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 'were raised busy'는 잘못된 표현이며, 대신 'were very busy'를 사용해야 합니다. 또한, 문장 연결을 위해 'because' 대신 'since'나 'as'를 활용하고, 구체적인 세부사항을 추가하면 더 좋습니다.

範例: When I was young, I didn't do anything special on my birthday since my parents were very busy. They usually sent me money, so I bought a delicious cake and enjoyed it by myself.

建議: 답변에 문법적 오류와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 'in now' 대신 'now'를 사용하고, 'meaningful less'는 'less meaningful'로 수정해야 합니다. 또한, 문장 간 연결어를 사용하여 자연스럽게 의견 변화를 표현하는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: Well, it depends on the situation. When I was a kid, I thought my birthday was the most important day of the year. However, now I think it is just an ordinary day and less meaningful.

建議: 답변이 명확하지만, 반복되는 'so'의 사용을 줄이고 더 다양한 연결어를 사용하면 좋겠습니다. 또한, 'from bottom of our heart'는 'from the bottom of our hearts'로 수정해야 하며, 문장을 좀 더 자연스럽게 다듬는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: I think the most important birthdays to celebrate in China are those of parents because it is a chance to express sincere appreciation and gratitude from the bottom of our hearts, making it a special day.

× my birthday is first June, which is the common exam period for Korean university students.

✓ my birthday is on the first of June, which is the common exam period for Korean university students.

The phrase 'first June' is incorrect; it should be 'the first of June' to correctly express the date. Also, the preposition 'on' is needed before dates. This is a singular/plural and preposition usage issue.

× my parents were raised busy so they sent money to me and I bought delicious cake and ate all of them.

✓ my parents were very busy, so they sent money to me, and I bought a delicious cake and ate it all.

The phrase 'were raised busy' is incorrect; it should be 'were very busy' to express the state of being busy in the past. Also, 'delicious cake' should be preceded by an article 'a' since 'cake' is countable here. 'Ate all of them' is incorrect because 'cake' is singular; it should be 'ate it all.' This involves past tense and singular/plural issues.

× When I was a kid I thought my birthday is the important day of a year.

✓ When I was a kid, I thought my birthday was the most important day of the year.

The verb tense should be consistent; since the main clause is in the past ('I thought'), the subordinate clause should also be in the past ('was'). Also, 'the important day of a year' is incorrect; it should be 'the most important day of the year.' This is a present tense and comparative/superlative error.

× But in now I think my birthday is just a day of a year.

✓ But now I think my birthday is just a day of the year.

The phrase 'in now' is incorrect; it should be 'now.' Also, 'a day of a year' should be 'a day of the year' because 'year' is specific here. This is a present tense and article usage issue.

× I think it is meaningful less.

✓ I think it is less meaningful.

The adverb 'less' should precede the adjective 'meaningful' to form the correct comparative structure. 'Meaningful less' is incorrect word order. This is an incorrect use of quantifiers and word order issue.

× I think it is maybe their parents birthday.

✓ I think it is maybe their parents' birthday.

The possessive form of 'parents' requires an apostrophe after the plural noun to indicate possession. Without the apostrophe, it is incorrect. This is a singular/plural and possessive form issue.

× So this is because I think it is a chance to express appreciation or gratitude from bottom of our heart.

✓ So this is because I think it is a chance to express appreciation or gratitude from the bottom of our hearts.

The phrase 'from bottom of our heart' is missing the definite article 'the' before 'bottom' and 'heart' should be plural 'hearts' to match 'our.' This is an incorrect use of prepositions and articles issue.