生日— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is a bit unclear and repetitive. Try to make your sentences more natural and organized. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repeating words like 'family' twice. Also, try to be more specific about what you do and how you feel.

範例: On my birthday, I usually celebrate with my friends and family. We play games together and enjoy delicious foods like biryani, chow mein, and cake. We also decorate the house to make the day special.

建議: Your answer is confusing and does not directly answer the question about your past birthday celebrations. Try to focus on what you did when you were younger, use clear sentences, and add linking words to make your answer coherent.

範例: When I was younger, I used to celebrate my birthday by decorating the house with my family. I helped my mother prepare food and set up decorations. We always enjoyed the day together very much.

建議: Your answer is somewhat unclear and incomplete. Try to clearly express your opinion and explain your reasons logically. Avoid incomplete sentences and use linking words to connect your ideas.

範例: I don't think celebrating my birthday is very important because, as a Muslim, it is considered Haram in my religion. However, I believe taking care of my health and mind is important to stay fresh and happy.

建議: Your answer is uncertain and lacks clarity. Try to give a clear opinion and support it with reasons or examples. Avoid hesitation and use linking words to organize your answer.

範例: I think the most important birthdays to celebrate in China are those of national leaders like the president. Also, people celebrate birthdays of important religious figures, which are significant in their culture.

× I usually do many great things nobody I enjoy with my friends, families and family and relatives.

✓ I usually do many great things that I enjoy with my friends, family, and relatives.

The word 'families' is incorrect here because 'family' is a collective noun and should be singular when referring to one's own family. Also, 'nobody' is misplaced and should be removed or replaced with 'that I'. The sentence needed correction to properly use singular and plural forms.

× In all my birthday I play with my cousins and eat many various kind of great foods.

✓ On all my birthdays, I play with my cousins and eat many various kinds of great foods.

The phrase 'all my birthday' is incorrect; it should be plural 'birthdays' because it refers to multiple occasions. Also, 'kind' should be plural 'kinds' when referring to multiple types of food.

× I eat biryani, chow Mein, cake obviously we decorated.

✓ I eat biryani, chow mein, and cake that we obviously decorated.

The sentence lacks proper conjunctions and relative pronouns. 'Obviously we decorated' is a separate clause and should be connected properly to the sentence. Also, 'chow Mein' should be 'chow mein' as it is a dish name.

× Chili I am young because I am 15 years old and I think that I'm in my team.

✓ Actually, I am young because I am 15 years old, and I think that I'm in my teens.

'Chili' is incorrect and likely a mishearing or typo for 'Actually'. 'In my team' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'in my teens' to indicate age range. The sentence structure needed correction for clarity.

× So now I am doing frequently many things like I decorate my house and help my mother to decorate and set up all the things for my birthday.

✓ So now I frequently do many things like decorating my house and helping my mother to decorate and set up everything for my birthday.

The phrase 'I am doing frequently many things like I decorate' is awkward and incorrect. Using gerunds 'decorating' and 'helping' fits better after 'doing many things like'. Also, 'all the things' is better as 'everything' for naturalness.

× We enjoy the day very, very much doing many, many.

✓ We enjoy the day very much by doing many activities.

The phrase 'doing many, many' is incomplete and unclear. It needs an object like 'activities' to complete the meaning. Also, 'very, very much' can be simplified to 'very much'.

× I actually don't think it is very important, but it is important for my health and my mind and to keep my mind fresh.

✓ I actually don't think it is very important, but it is important for my health and mind to keep my mind fresh.

The sentence is mostly correct but can be improved by removing redundancy ('my mind' repeated) and making it more concise. No modal verb error here, but slight improvement for clarity.

× But as I'm Muslim so it is Haram in my religion, so it is it is not very important in my life.

✓ But since I am Muslim, it is Haram in my religion, so it is not very important in my life.

The phrase 'as I'm Muslim so' is incorrect; 'since I am Muslim' is better. Also, 'it is it is' is a repetition error. The pronoun usage is corrected for clarity and grammar.

× So I think that in the next year we.

✓ So I think that next year we will celebrate differently.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks a verb or object. It needs completion to make sense. Added a plausible completion fitting the context.

× I actually don't know, but I think that China's president or Prime Minister, I think, I'm not sure, or China's, uh, other kingdoms kings or something, but I think that China's people and their religious, uh, Sir, also celebrate their birthday.

✓ I actually don't know, but I think that China's president or Prime Minister, or other kings, celebrate their birthdays. Also, I think that Chinese people and their religious leaders celebrate their birthdays.

The sentence has unclear pronoun references and awkward phrasing. 'Kingdoms kings' is incorrect; it should be 'other kings'. 'Religious, uh, Sir' is unclear and corrected to 'religious leaders'. The sentence is restructured for clarity.