生日— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is relevant and clear, but it is a little repetitive and has minor grammatical errors. Aim to use a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct small grammar issues, and keep to 3–4 sentences. Use linking phrases to show contrast and reason (e.g. 'but', 'because', 'so').

範例: I usually treat my birthday as an ordinary day because I don't enjoy big celebrations. Instead, I use the day to reflect on my life and feel grateful for my health and family. So I often spend it quietly at home, maybe calling a few close friends.

建議: This answer gives good specific details and a clear past routine. Improve naturalness by varying sentence structure, removing redundancies ('a lot of cakes and then a lot of biscuits'), and using linking words to sequence events (e.g. 'first', 'after that', 'finally').

範例: When I was young, my father always held a birthday party and invited relatives. First, he brought a birthday cake and plenty of snacks, and after the party he took many photos. I remember feeling very special because my family made a big effort to celebrate.

建議: Your position is clear, but there are repetitions and small grammar errors ('as as as', 'blow up the candles'). Try to state your view in one concise topic sentence, give two supporting reasons with linking words, and avoid repeating the same phrase.

範例: I don't think it's important for me to celebrate birthdays anymore because I dislike being the centre of attention and I find the rituals unnecessary. For these reasons, I prefer to spend the day quietly with a close friend or simply relaxing at home.

建議: The idea is understandable but needs more accuracy and politeness. Avoid uncertain words like 'maybe' without support, and correct grammar (singular/plural agreement). Provide a clearer reason and a concise structure: topic sentence + reason + brief example. Also be careful with sensitive topics — say 'national leaders' if unsure.

範例: In China, national leaders' birthdays are often treated as important public occasions because they symbolise the country's unity and achievements. For example, official events and media tributes may be organised to honour their service to the nation.

× I don't have to have a special occasion for to celebrate that.

✓ I don't need a special occasion to celebrate it.

The original uses an incorrect infinitive construction 'for to celebrate'. Use 'to' + verb (to celebrate) or 'need + noun' + 'to' structure. Also 'have to have' is awkward; 'need' is clearer. Use 'it' as the object instead of 'that'.

× When I was young, my father used to hold a party for my birthday and invited all of my relatives.

✓ When I was young, my father used to hold a party for my birthday and invite all of my relatives.

The coordinated verbs after 'used to' should both be in base form. 'Used to' already marks habitual past; use 'invite' not 'invited' to maintain parallel structure.

× He also brought a lot of cakes and then a lot of biscuits.

✓ He also brought a lot of cakes and biscuits.

The sentence is grammatically acceptable but 'and then a lot of biscuits' is redundant and awkward. Combine objects with 'and' for concision. No tense change needed; 'brought' correctly expresses past action.

× He loved me and he made sure to make that day special for me and he also photographed it.

✓ He loved me, made sure that day was special for me, and also took photographs of it.

Use parallel verb forms and natural collocations: 'made sure that day was special' and 'took photographs' rather than 'photographed it' for smoother, more natural English. Keep verbs parallel and avoid repetitive 'he'.

× As I grew older, I don't think it's important to celebrate my birthday.

✓ As I have grown older, I don't think it's important to celebrate my birthday.

Mixing 'As I grew older' (past) with present opinion is awkward. Use present-perfect 'have grown' to connect past change with current opinion.

× I treat it as as as nothing but a normal day because I'm not into the ritual of celebrating and blow up the candles.

✓ I treat it as nothing but a normal day because I'm not into the ritual of celebrating or blowing out the candles.

Remove repeated 'as'. Use the correlative 'not into ... or ...' and change 'blow up the candles' (wrong verb) to 'blowing out the candles' (correct phrasal verb). Use gerund 'blowing' after 'into'.

× Maybe the president of China, they do celebrate his birthday and they made sure that day is special and that their president is appreciated for his efforts and for the things he has done for the country and that basically match it.

✓ Maybe the president of China; they celebrate his birthday and make sure that day is special, so their president is appreciated for his efforts and what he has done for the country.

There is inconsistent pronoun use: 'the president' (singular) with 'they' and 'their'. Use consistent plural or singular. In context 'they' referring to people generally is acceptable, but keep verb tenses consistent: use present 'celebrate' and 'make sure' rather than mixing present and past. Simplify 'match it' which is unclear, and use 'what he has done' for natural phrasing.

× On my birthday I don't do anything special because first of all I don't like to celebrate my birthday.

✓ On my birthday I don't do anything special because, first of all, I don't like celebrating my birthday.

Use gerund 'celebrating' after 'like' for natural expression. Add commas around 'first of all' for clarity. This addresses style and verb form.

× I just love to appreciate being here and being alive everyday and I don't have to have a special occasion for to celebrate that.

✓ I just love appreciating being here and being alive every day, and I don't need a special occasion to celebrate it.

Use 'appreciating' (gerund) after 'love' for natural phrasing; write 'every day' as two words when meaning each day; replace awkward 'have to have' and incorrect 'for to celebrate' with 'need ... to celebrate'.