休息— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 답변이 자연스럽지 않고 문법적 오류가 있습니다. 중복된 단어 사용과 문장 구조가 어색하여 의사 전달이 명확하지 않습니다. 문장을 간결하고 명확하게 구성하며, 연결어를 사용해 내용을 논리적으로 연결하는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: Recently, I often go to Jung San Family Park near my apartment to relax. The park is full of greenery, and right now, the colorful leaves are falling, creating a beautiful scenery.

建議: 답변이 문법적으로 부정확하고 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 중복된 단어 사용과 의미 전달이 명확하지 않은 부분이 있습니다. 주어와 동사의 시제를 일치시키고, 명확한 문장 구조를 사용하여 자신의 생각을 분명히 표현하는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: I usually relax when I am with my mom. She has a wonderful personality that makes everyone feel calm when they talk to her.

建議: 답변에 불필요한 중복과 어색한 문장 구조가 있습니다. 말을 더 자연스럽게 연결하고, 명확한 이유를 제시하는 연습이 필요합니다. 또한, 'fuller'라는 단어 사용이 문맥상 부적절하므로 적절한 어휘 선택이 필요합니다.

範例: Definitely, listening to music is relaxing. I enjoy it because the melody and rhythm help me feel calm and refreshed.

建議: 답변이 중복되고 문법적으로 부정확하며, 문장 연결이 자연스럽지 않습니다. 자신의 활동을 명확하게 설명하고, 문장 간에 논리적인 연결어를 사용하는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: To relax, I do activities I enjoy, mainly working out. For example, I attend ballet classes two or three times a week.

× I go to a park near near our apartment that is called Jung San Family Park.

✓ I go to a park near our apartment that is called Jung San Family Park.

The repetition of 'near' is a typographical error and should be corrected to a single 'near' to maintain proper sentence structure.

× It is full of greenery and at this time it the falling of this colorful leaves are very beautiful and it had contained.

✓ It is full of greenery and at this time the falling of these colorful leaves is very beautiful and it is captivating.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'it the falling' is incorrect; 'this colorful leaves' should be 'these colorful leaves' to match plural noun; 'are' should be 'is' because the subject is 'falling' (singular); 'had contained' is incorrect in this context and should be replaced with 'is captivating' or similar. The definite article 'the' is correctly used before 'falling' but the sentence structure needs correction.

× Mainly I think I relaxed when I'm around my mom.

✓ Mainly I think I relax when I'm around my mom.

The verb 'relaxed' is in past tense, but the sentence refers to a habitual action, so present tense 'relax' should be used.

× She she has a brilliant character that makes calm to each who they are talking to.

✓ She has a brilliant character that makes everyone calm when they are talking to her.

The sentence has repeated 'She'; 'makes calm to each who they are talking to' is ungrammatical. It should be 'makes everyone calm when they are talking to her' to correctly use pronouns and convey meaning.

× Definitely it does.

✓ Definitely, it does.

A comma after 'Definitely' improves clarity and naturalness in spoken English.

× I really enjoy, uh, listening to the music, so it, it has a flow and it has a melody that makes me calm and. Fuller.

✓ I really enjoy listening to music because it has a flow and a melody that makes me calm and fuller.

'Listening to the music' should be 'listening to music' as music is uncountable here; unnecessary commas and pauses should be removed for clarity; 'and. Fuller' is fragmented and should be 'and fuller'.

× I, I do what I like. That is mainly it is a working, working out.

✓ I do what I like. Mainly, it is working out.

The sentence has redundant words and awkward phrasing. Removing repeated 'I' and restructuring improves clarity.

× For example, I go to ballet class, uh. Twice or three times a week.

✓ For example, I go to ballet class two or three times a week.

Numbers should be written as words in formal writing; 'twice or three times' is inconsistent, so 'two or three times' is clearer.