钓鱼— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No), then give one or two specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Avoid redundancy and correct grammar errors (e.g., 'there are several reasons', 'for religious reasons').

範例: No, I don’t eat fish. I’ve been a vegetarian since childhood for religious reasons, and I also prefer a plant-based diet because I believe it’s better for the environment. Therefore I’ve never tried fish.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence about visiting, use correct verb tenses and link reasons. Be specific about frequency or a typical experience and avoid awkward phrasing ('hate the fragrance' → 'dislike the smell').

範例: Yes, I used to pass a central fish market often when I lived in India. The strong smell always bothered me, so I avoided going inside. I don’t mind others eating fish, but I personally wouldn’t try it.

建議: Start with a direct answer (Yes/No/Partly), then support it with specific, accurate reasons and clearer linking words. Use more natural vocabulary and correct grammar ('unknown to various people' is unclear; say 'less common among younger people'). Keep sentences concise.

範例: Fishing is less common now than before. Many young people choose technology jobs, while others start small businesses like restaurants, so fewer people work in traditional fishing.

× I follow a pure vegetarian diet since my childhood.

✓ I have followed a pure vegetarian diet since my childhood.

The original sentence has an article and tense issue. 'Follow a pure vegetarian diet since my childhood' needs present perfect to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present ('have followed'). Also 'a pure vegetarian diet' is fine with the indefinite article; main correction is tense to match 'since'. Suggestion: use present perfect with 'since' for actions continuing from past to present.

× I have never eaten fish so far.

✓ I have never eaten fish so far.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable with present perfect 'have never eaten' and the adverbial 'so far'. No change needed. Keep present perfect to indicate experience up to now.

× There is several reason behind this.

✓ There are several reasons behind this.

Subject-verb agreement and plural noun required. 'Several reasons' is plural, so use plural verb 'are' and plural noun 'reasons'. Suggestion: match 'there is/there are' to singular/plural subject.

× First of all due to religion purpose I do not eat any non vegetarian item and I want to preserve the nature by eating vegetarian diet.

✓ First of all, due to religious reasons I do not eat any non-vegetarian items, and I want to preserve nature by eating a vegetarian diet.

Multiple issues: use comma after 'First of all'; 'religion purpose' is incorrect—use 'religious reasons'; 'non vegetarian' should be hyphenated 'non-vegetarian' and plural 'items' fits general statement; 'preserve the nature' is unnatural—use 'preserve nature'; 'a vegetarian diet' needs article. Suggestion: use correct adjective forms and articles, hyphenate compound adjectives, and pluralize when speaking generally.

× When I was living in India, we had a Central Market in which there were several fish shops.

✓ When I was living in India, we had a central market that had several fish shops.

'Central Market' need not be capitalized unless a proper name; 'in which there were' is wordy—use 'that had'. Tense 'was living' and 'had' are fine as past. Also 'central market' is not a title so lowercase. Suggestion: simplify relative clause and use correct capitalization.

× So whenever I go through or work by the streets, I always hate the fragrance of the fish.

✓ So whenever I walk or work on the streets, I always hate the smell of fish.

'Go through the streets' is unnatural—use 'walk on the streets'; 'work by the streets' should be 'work on the streets'; 'fragrance of the fish' is awkward—use 'smell of fish'. Adverb placement 'always' is acceptable here. Suggestion: use natural collocations: 'walk on the streets', 'smell of fish'.

× Personally, I don't mind if anybody else eat it, but I do not recommend myself to eat fish.

✓ Personally, I don't mind if anybody else eats it, but I would not recommend eating fish myself.

Subject-verb agreement: 'anybody else' requires third person singular verb 'eats'. 'Recommend myself to eat' is incorrect; use 'would not recommend eating fish myself' or 'would not recommend that I eat fish'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms after indefinite pronouns and use 'recommend' with a gerund or a clause.

× These days, I believe that fishing is unknown to various people.

✓ These days, I believe that fishing is unfamiliar to many people.

'Unknown to various people' is awkward; use 'unfamiliar to many people'. Tense 'believe' present is fine. Suggestion: prefer 'unfamiliar' and 'many' rather than 'unknown' and 'various'.

× Most of the people are relying on the technology jobs.

✓ Most people rely on technology jobs.

'Most of the people' is wordy; 'most people' is natural. 'Are relying on' present continuous suggests temporary—use simple present 'rely on' for general truth. 'The technology jobs' is incorrect article use; use 'technology jobs' or 'jobs in technology'. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual facts and correct quantifier forms.

× However, I believe that majority of people also prefer to own a personal business such as opening a restaurant.

✓ However, I believe that a majority of people also prefer to own a personal business, such as opening a restaurant.

'Majority of people' needs an article 'a majority' (or 'the majority') and 'people' is plural—structure must reflect that. 'Prefer to own a personal business such as opening a restaurant' is understandable but add a comma and keep parallel structure. Suggestion: use 'a majority' and ensure parallel phrasing: 'prefer owning a small business, such as opening a restaurant'.