团队合作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: ปรับให้ประโยคกระชับและเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น หลีกเลี่ยงคำเติม (filler) เช่น "uh" และการทำซ้ำ เช่น "try to like" เพิ่ม linking word สั้นๆ เพื่อเชื่อมความคิด เช่น "because" และให้ตัวอย่างประกอบเพื่อชี้แจงเหตุผล

範例: I prefer working alone because it lets me focus and finish tasks faster. For example, when I study by myself, I can set my own pace and avoid lengthy discussions that slow progress.

建議: ลดการใช้ซ้ำคำและคำเติม เช่น "team team up" หรือ "like" ใช้โครงสร้างประโยคชัดเจนขึ้น เริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงๆ แล้วให้ตัวอย่างเฉพาะเจาะจงและใช้ linking words เช่น "for example" หรือ "however" เพื่อความลื่นไหล

範例: Yes, I have. In high school I often worked in groups for projects. However, we sometimes had conflicts because we had different ideas; for example, one time four of us disagreed on the project format, which made coordination difficult.

建議: ทำให้คำตอบมีโครงสร้างชัดเจน: เริ่มด้วยหัวข้อหลัก (topic sentence) แล้วอธิบายด้วยเหตุผลและตัวอย่าง ใช้คำเฉพาะแทนวลีคลุมเครือ เช่น "collect ideas" และหลีกเลี่ยงการย้ำคำ ใช้ linking words เช่น "for example" และ "therefore"

範例: One important skill I learned is time management because coordinating schedules and tasks takes planning. For example, in a group project we set deadlines for each part, which helped us finish on time and reduced last-minute stress.

建議: เขียนให้กระชับและใช้คำที่เป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น อธิบายเหตุผลเฉพาะเจาะจงและยกตัวอย่าง ใช้ linking words เช่น "because" และ "for instance" แทนวลีซับซ้อนเช่น "required emotional cooperation" ซึ่งฟังไม่เป็นธรรมชาติ

範例: I dislike teamwork mainly because compromise is often necessary, and I sometimes feel my ideas are overlooked. For instance, in one project I proposed a plan that was changed completely after a vote, which was frustrating.

× To some extent, I think it is better to work alone, since you don't have to discuss any topic or uh, try to like make somebody understand your idea.

✓ To some extent, I think it is better to work alone, since you don't have to discuss any topic or try to make somebody understand your idea.

The phrase 'try to like make' contains an unnecessary filler 'like' and awkward sequence. Use 'try to make' with the base verb after 'to' (infinitive). Suggestion: avoid filler words such as 'like' in formal responses and use the infinitive 'to make' after 'try to'.

× Yes, and it's really common things that we have to team up.

✓ Yes, and it's really common for us to have to team up.

The original mixes 'it's' with 'common things' which is ungrammatical. Use the adjective 'common' with a clause or 'for us to...' or use 'common for people to...'. Suggestion: restructure to 'it's common for us to...'.

× As a high schooler, I used to team team up with like several people.

✓ As a high schooler, I used to team up with several people.

There is a duplicated 'team' and an unnecessary filler 'like'. Also 'used to team up' is correct for past habitual action. Suggestion: remove duplication and filler words.

× However, we didn't really get along and there's a lot of idea and information that we have to deal with, so it's hard to work with lots of people at once.

✓ However, we didn't really get along and there were a lot of ideas and pieces of information that we had to deal with, so it was hard to work with many people at once.

Pronoun and number errors: 'there's' (there is) should be plural 'there were' to match 'ideas', and 'a lot of idea' should be 'a lot of ideas'. Also tense should stay past 'didn't' so use past forms 'were' and 'had'. Use 'many people' instead of 'lots of people' for slightly more formal tone.

× Well, I think the first one would be time management because when you work as a team, we have to gather all of the possible idea or something that we think that oh, it is good for our team.

✓ Well, I think the first one would be time management because when you work as a team, we have to gather all possible ideas or anything that we think is good for our team.

Problems: 'all of the possible idea' should be 'all possible ideas' (plural noun with correct quantifier). Remove 'something' and awkward filler 'oh'. Also change 'that we think that oh, it is' to 'that we think is' to avoid unnecessary conjunctions. Suggestion: use plural nouns after quantifiers and keep clauses concise.

× However, it is so hard because there's several ideas and we have to figure them out which which one is better.

✓ However, it is so hard because there are several ideas and we have to figure out which one is better.

Use plural agreement: 'there are' not 'there's' for plural 'ideas'. Remove duplicated 'which' and correct verb placement: 'figure out which one' (no 'them out which'). Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and avoid word duplication.

× Well, I don't like teamwork because it's required emotional cooperation among people and sometimes we have to find middle ground when we want something we might not get it because of others people's opinion towards it.

✓ Well, I don't like teamwork because it requires emotional cooperation among people and sometimes we have to find a middle ground; when we want something, we might not get it because of other people's opinions about it.

Errors: 'it's required emotional cooperation' should be 'it requires emotional cooperation' (use active verb 'requires'). 'find middle ground' needs article 'a'. 'others people's' is incorrect; use 'other people's'. 'opinion towards it' is better as 'opinions about it'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms, articles, possessive pronouns, and prepositions.

× That's why I just don't like working with people.

✓ That's why I don't like working with other people.

Original is acceptable but 'just' is unnecessary and 'people' is vague. Adding 'other' clarifies contrast with working alone. Suggestion: drop filler 'just' and use 'other people' for clarity.