广告— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Ответ понятен, но нужно убрать слова-паразиты («uh»), сократить повторения и сделать фразу более естественной и связной: начать с прямого утверждения, затем пояснить причину и привести пример. Также полезно добавить небольшую подробность (например, сюжет или слоган), чтобы ответ был более конкретным.

範例: Yes. One advertisement that stuck with me was a funny commercial for a microloan company that ran on radio and TV when I was young. It had a catchy jingle and a comic sketch about a man who used the loan to start a small shop. That humor made it memorable and people in my town still quoted the jingle years later.

建議: Ответ прямой, но звучит немного повторно и есть заполнители («uh», «As for me»). Стоит сформулировать мнение короче, дать причину и пример последствий таких объявлений (например, отвлечение водителей или засорённость пространства). Используйте связки («because», «for example», «as a result»).

範例: Yes, I see a lot of ads on public transport. They often cover entire carriages and, in my opinion, spoil the visual environment because the designs are loud and distracting. For example, when I took the subway last week, every window had posters which made the carriage feel cluttered and uncomfortable.

建議: Ответ выражает мнение, но звучит эмоционально и слегка неконкретно. Уберите междометия, уточните, почему именно объявления утомляют (перебор информации, навязчивость, личные данные) и приведите пример личного опыта. Это сделает ответ более убедительным и информативным.

範例: No, I generally do not like advertisements. I find them exhausting because we are already bombarded with information and ads add to that overload. For instance, when I browse news sites, the constant pop-ups and autoplay videos make it hard to focus and leave me feeling annoyed.

建議: Идея хорошая, но фраза «made in a choking way» некорректна по-английски. Нужно подобрать точные слова (например, "clever" или "concept-driven") и объяснить, что вы имеете в виду конкретным примером. Связки между предложениями помогут сделать ответ плавным.

範例: I prefer clever, concept-driven advertisements that communicate a clear idea. Conceptual ads don’t just promote a product; they convey values or tell a story. For example, a recent ad I liked linked a coffee brand to community and morning rituals, which made it feel meaningful rather than just a sales pitch.

建議: Ответ конкретен и содержит пример, но звучит немного нечётко: утверждение "only if I catch some viruses" ограничивает ситуацию и не учитывает легитимную рекламу. Лучше сказать, что вы often encounter ads online, sometimes due to malware, и описать, как это влияет на вас, с небольшим советом. Уберите сленг и уточните ситуацию.

範例: I often see ads online, especially on free streaming or download sites, and sometimes my laptop gets pop-ups that look like malware. For example, when I tried to download a movie once, my screen was flooded with inappropriate and unsafe ads, which forced me to run antivirus software and avoid that site in the future.

× There was quite a common ad that, uh, was widespread on all kinds of radio, TV, et cetera.

✓ There was a quite common ad that was played widely on all kinds of radio and TV.

The original uses 'widespread on radio, TV' which is awkward; use 'played widely on radio and TV' for present participle/verb usage and correct collocation. Use 'a quite common ad' for article placement. Suggestion: use natural collocations like 'played on' or 'broadcast on' when referring to ads on media.

× It was an advertisement over a loan company, especially micro loans.

✓ It was an advertisement for a loan company, especially for microloans.

Use preposition 'for' to indicate the target or purpose of the advertisement, not 'over'. Also 'micro loans' is commonly one word 'microloans' or hyphenated; repeat 'for' to clarify relation. Suggestion: use 'advertisement for' and combine 'microloans' as a single term.

× I don't support the concept of doing that because As for me, it just makes the view worse.

✓ I don't support the idea of doing that because, for me, it just makes the view worse.

Incorrect capitalized 'As' and awkward pronoun phrase 'As for me'. Use 'for me' to express personal opinion. Also 'concept' should be 'idea' in this context. Suggestion: use 'for me' or 'in my opinion' and ensure proper capitalization and sentence flow.

× No, in my opinion, uh, we are already overwhelmed by the amount of information that we consume daily and advertisements are horrible because they crowd their minds even more.

✓ No, in my opinion, we are already overwhelmed by the amount of information we consume daily, and advertisements are horrible because they crowd people's minds even more.

The pronoun 'their' is ambiguous; use 'people's' to clearly refer to people's minds. Also remove filler 'uh' and tighten expression. Suggestion: use explicit nouns instead of unclear pronouns to improve clarity.

× I usually feel exhausted after having to look at an advertisement.

✓ I usually feel exhausted after having to look at advertisements.

Using the singular 'an advertisement' is grammatically correct but less natural here; plural 'advertisements' fits the general statement about repeated exposure. Suggestion: use plural for habitual/general statements.

× Probably the ones that are made in a choking way or the ones that have a certain concept.

✓ Probably the ones that are made in a shocking way or the ones that have a certain concept.

'Choking' is incorrect collocation for describing impactful ads; likely intended 'shocking' or 'provocative'. This is word choice rather than grammar, but it affects -ing form usage. Suggestion: choose correct adjective participle such as 'shocking' or 'provocative'.

× Because conceptual advertisements, they sell not only the product itself, but the values that come with it, and that's when they become interesting and actually pleasant to watch.

✓ Conceptual advertisements sell not only the product itself but also the values that come with it, and that's when they become interesting and pleasant to watch.

Avoid redundant pronoun 'they' after the subject 'Conceptual advertisements' and use parallel structure 'not only... but also'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary pronouns and maintain parallelism.

× Usually I see them only if I catch some viruses.

✓ Usually I see them only if I catch a virus.

Use singular 'a virus' or better 'malware' for computer infections; 'viruses' plural after 'catch' sounds odd in this context. Suggestion: use 'a virus' or 'malware' depending on meaning.

× I remember one time I tried to download a film online and then all my laptop screen was covered with extremely inappropriate advertisements of certain sites which are not safe for watching.

✓ I remember one time I tried to download a film online and then my entire laptop screen was covered with extremely inappropriate advertisements from certain sites that are not safe to view.

Replace 'all my laptop screen' with 'my entire laptop screen' and use 'advertisements from' not 'of', and 'that are not safe to view' instead of 'for watching'. Also 'which' should be 'that' for restrictive clause. Suggestion: use precise prepositions and correct relative pronoun for restrictive clauses.