游泳— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is quite long and a bit unclear. Try to be more concise and clear by directly stating your feelings and reasons. Also, avoid redundancy and grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

範例: I don't like swimming because I had a bad experience as a child when I almost drowned. Since then, I've been afraid of water and prefer to avoid swimming to protect my health.

建議: Your answer has some contradictions and unclear phrases. Be sure to express your opinion clearly and support it with specific reasons. Use linking words to organize your ideas logically.

範例: I don't think learning to swim is difficult, especially with an instructor's guidance. Also, it's easier to learn swimming as a child because you have fewer responsibilities and can focus more on practice.

建議: Your answer is generally clear but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use more precise vocabulary and correct sentence structures. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

範例: People in my country usually prefer swimming pools or small lakes because swimming in large rivers can be dangerous due to strong currents. Therefore, they choose safer and calmer places to swim.

建議: Your answer is incomplete and has several grammatical mistakes. Try to complete your thoughts clearly and use appropriate vocabulary. Use linking words to compare and contrast the two places effectively.

範例: Swimming in a pool is safer because there are instructors nearby to help if needed. In contrast, swimming in the sea can be dangerous due to strong waves and the presence of wild animals.

× Suddenly not, I don't like to swim because I have enough phobia when I was a child, at that time I just sleep in a water due to which my health become affected.

✓ Suddenly not, I don't like to swim because I had enough phobia when I was a child; at that time I just slept in water, due to which my health became affected.

The sentence contains past tense errors. 'Have' should be 'had' to indicate past state, 'sleep' should be 'slept' as past tense of 'sleep', and 'become' should be 'became' as past tense of 'become'. These changes are necessary because the events described happened in the past.

× So from such a time period I just stay away from it and I don't want to take any type of risk related to my health so I prefer to just stay away from our water.

✓ So from that time period I have just stayed away from it and I don't want to take any type of risk related to my health, so I prefer to just stay away from water.

The phrase 'I just stay away' should be 'I have just stayed away' to correctly express an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Also, 'our water' is incorrect; it should be 'water' as a general noun here.

× No, I don't think so. That is quite daunting to learn about swimming.

✓ No, I don't think so. It is quite daunting to learn to swim.

The phrase 'That is quite daunting to learn about swimming' is awkward. 'Learn about swimming' should be 'learn to swim' to correctly express the action. Also, 'That' is vague; 'It' is more appropriate here.

× With the help of instructor, the people can learn about swimming very peacefully and calmly.

✓ With the help of an instructor, people can learn to swim very peacefully and calmly.

The phrase 'With the help of instructor' is missing an article; it should be 'an instructor'. Also, 'learn about swimming' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'learn to swim'.

× Apart from it, I felt that in a childhood age, at that time it was really useful to learn about the swimming, because at that time we have no any type of responsibility that will pressurize you.

✓ Apart from that, I felt that in childhood, it was really useful to learn to swim because at that time we had no responsibilities that would pressure you.

The phrase 'in a childhood age' is incorrect; 'in childhood' is correct. 'Learn about the swimming' should be 'learn to swim'. 'We have no any type of responsibility' should be 'we had no responsibilities'. 'Will pressurize you' should be 'would pressure you' to maintain past tense consistency.

× Well, most of the time they prefer to swim in a swimming pool or a small lake because it is really dangerous to swim in a long river.

✓ Well, most of the time they prefer to swim in a swimming pool or a small lake because it is really dangerous to swim in a large river.

The phrase 'a long river' is less common; 'a large river' is more appropriate to describe a big river. No plural issue here, but 'long' is not the best adjective for this context.

× There is a too much water that is flowing all throughout the year and no one want to take any type of risk related to their health.

✓ There is too much water flowing throughout the year, and no one wants to take any type of risk related to their health.

The phrase 'a too much water' is incorrect; 'too much water' is correct. Also, 'no one want' should be 'no one wants' to agree with the singular subject.

× So they are prefer to swim in a peaceful place or there is not too much water.

✓ So they prefer to swim in a peaceful place where there is not too much water.

The phrase 'they are prefer' is incorrect; it should be 'they prefer'. Also, the sentence structure is awkward; adding 'where' clarifies the meaning.

× Well, there are lot of difference between the swimming in the pool or swimming in the sea.

✓ Well, there are a lot of differences between swimming in the pool and swimming in the sea.

The phrase 'there are lot of difference' is incorrect; it should be 'there are a lot of differences' to match plural 'differences'. Also, 'between the swimming in the pool or swimming in the sea' should be 'between swimming in the pool and swimming in the sea'.

× On the one hand, there is also an instructor in near the swimming pool so that in case anyone drawing into the water they can help them.

✓ On the one hand, there is also an instructor near the swimming pool so that in case anyone is drowning in the water, they can help them.

The phrase 'in near the swimming pool' is incorrect; it should be 'near the swimming pool'. 'Anyone drawing into the water' should be 'anyone is drowning in the water'.

× There is a too much water and or the waves that are flowing strongly throughout the year.

✓ There is too much water and strong waves flowing throughout the year.

The phrase 'a too much water' is incorrect; it should be 'too much water'. 'Or the waves that are flowing strongly' is awkward; 'strong waves flowing' is better.