游泳— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy by not repeating similar ideas like 'stress free' and 'cool' without explanation. Also, try to use a more natural phrase like 'helps me relax' instead of 'keeps me stress free.'

範例: Yes, I really enjoy swimming because it helps me relax and stay refreshed, especially during hot weather.

建議: Your answer provides a personal experience, which is good, but the grammar and sentence structure need improvement for clarity and naturalness. Avoid redundancy like 'putting efforts to learn how to swim' when you already mentioned learning. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

範例: I found learning to swim difficult at first because I felt like I was drowning. However, with practice, I became confident and now I really enjoy swimming.

建議: Your answer is informative and relevant, but it can be more concise and natural. Avoid repeating 'because' multiple times; instead, use linking words like 'since' or 'as.' Also, try to use more natural phrases such as 'lifeguards are present' instead of 'people watching after you.'

範例: In my hometown Douala, Cameroon, people usually swim in pools since they are comfortable, safer with lifeguards present, and cooler than other places.

建議: There seems to be a confusion between 'Nepal' and 'pool' in your answer. Make sure to answer the question directly and clearly. Also, improve sentence structure and use linking words to compare effectively. Avoid redundancy and clarify your points.

範例: Swimming in a pool is different from swimming in the sea because pools are enclosed and calm, allowing you to swim freely. In contrast, the sea has waves that can push you around, making it more challenging.

× Out of my many hobbies, I think swimming is one of my favorite because it keeps me stress free and cool.

✓ Out of my many hobbies, I think swimming is one of my favorites because it keeps me stress free and cool.

The phrase 'one of my favorite' is incorrect because 'favorite' is an adjective and needs to be pluralized to 'favorites' when referring to one among many. The correct phrase is 'one of my favorites.'

× I would say it's difficult for the first try because for me I really went through hard time swimming.

✓ I would say it was difficult the first time because for me I really went through a hard time swimming.

The sentence refers to a past experience, so the verb tense should be past ('was' instead of 'is'). Also, 'for the first try' is better expressed as 'the first time.' Additionally, 'went through hard time' needs an article 'a' before 'hard time.'

× That times I felt like I was drowning when learning how to swim.

✓ At that time, I felt like I was drowning when learning how to swim.

The phrase 'That times' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'At that time' to refer to a specific past moment. Also, 'times' is plural but the context requires singular 'time.'

× But presently I'm an expert swimmer and I actually love putting efforts to learn how to swim.

✓ But presently I'm an expert swimmer and I actually love putting effort into learning how to swim.

The phrase 'putting efforts' is incorrect; 'effort' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized here. Also, the correct preposition is 'into' after 'putting effort.' Additionally, 'to learn' should be 'learning' after 'putting effort into.'

× people prefer swimming in pools because it's comfortable and it's safer because you have people watching after you in case of any problem doing swimming and it's actually cooler.

✓ People prefer swimming in pools because it's comfortable and safer since you have people watching over you in case of any problem while swimming, and it's actually cooler.

The phrase 'watching after you' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'watching over you.' Also, 'in case of any problem doing swimming' is awkward; it should be 'in case of any problem while swimming.' The sentence is improved by adding 'since' to connect ideas more clearly.

× I would say there's a big difference between swimming in Nepal and in the sea, because in Nepal you are in a confined space and there's no waves that can take you out of the pool or bring you in.

✓ I would say there's a big difference between swimming in a pool and in the sea, because in a pool you are in a confined space and there are no waves that can take you out of the pool or bring you in.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'Nepal' instead of 'a pool.' Also, 'there's no waves' is incorrect; it should be 'there are no waves' because 'waves' is plural.

× there's no waves that can take you out of the pool or bring you in.

✓ there are no waves that can take you out of the pool or bring you in.

The subject 'waves' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is' or the contraction 'there's.'

× But swimming in the sea, the waves actually put either pushes you out of the water or take you far.

✓ But swimming in the sea, the waves actually either push you out of the water or take you far.

The phrase 'put either pushes you' is incorrect. The correct structure is 'either push you... or take you...' because 'waves' is plural and the verb should agree. Also, 'either' should precede the first verb.