故事— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the answer more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and sentence fragments, and use smoother linking phrases. Correct minor grammar (e.g., “learning listening stories” → “listening to stories”). Limit to 3–4 sentences and add one specific detail to illustrate.

範例: Yes, I loved stories as a child. I wasn’t very interested in television, but I loved listening to my grandmother’s bedtime stories, especially those about Indian mythology. Because she described the characters vividly, those tales sparked my imagination and stayed with me.

建議: Answer directly with one clear reason, use a linking phrase to add a second supporting point, and avoid repeating the conclusion. Use correct prepositions ("listening to"), and include a brief specific example to strengthen your answer.

範例: I prefer reading stories because I can go at my own pace and pause to imagine scenes. Moreover, when I read a novel I can re-read favourite passages, which helps me notice details I might miss when listening.

建議: Begin with a direct topic sentence and make sentences grammatically smooth. Replace informal slang like “cringe” with a neutral description, and use a linking phrase to show consequence (e.g., “because” or “which led to”). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and add a specific brief detail about the poem or encouragement.

範例: I didn’t write full stories then, but I did write a short poem as a child, which inspired me to try more creative writing. My mother found the poem and encouraged me, which gave me confidence to write more poems and short stories.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid repetition ("I like the I like"). Give one or two specific reasons and a brief example showing how the stories appeal to you. Correct small grammar ("based in England" → "set in England") and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

範例: I enjoy fiction set in England, especially novels like those by Jane Austen. I like the social settings and period detail because they let me imagine attending elegant balls and experiencing the characters’ lives.

× Yes, I loved listening to stories. In my childhood.

✓ Yes, I loved listening to stories in my childhood.

The original has an unnecessary sentence break which creates a fragment. Combine into one sentence to maintain past-tense narrative and correct sentence structure.

× I was not very particularly interested in watching television.

✓ I was not particularly interested in watching television.

Using both 'very' and 'particularly' is redundant; 'particularly' alone correctly modifies 'interested'. This corrects word choice and natural adverb use.

× However, I was extremely interested in learning listening stories from my grandmother during bedtime and she would tell stories related to Indian mythology and I loved them the most.

✓ However, I was extremely interested in listening to stories from my grandmother at bedtime; she would tell stories related to Indian mythology, and I loved them the most.

'Learning listening stories' is incorrect. Use 'listening to stories' (verb + to infinitive pattern after 'interested in' requires gerund: 'listening to'). Also change 'during bedtime' to 'at bedtime' for correct preposition and add punctuation to avoid a run-on sentence.

× I prefer reading stories over listening them because while reading we can read at our own pace and that leaves greater room for imagination, whereas while listening it is easy to get distracted.

✓ I prefer reading stories to listening to them because when reading we can go at our own pace, which leaves more room for imagination, whereas when listening it is easy to get distracted.

Use 'prefer A to B' not 'prefer A over B' in this context; 'listening them' needs the preposition 'to'. Replace 'while' with 'when' for natural sequencing, and 'that leaves greater room' is better as 'which leaves more room' for clarity and fluency.

× Not a story, but I had written a short poem when I was a child and that started the journey of me writing poems and short stories.

✓ Not a story, but I wrote a short poem when I was a child, and that started my journey of writing poems and short stories.

Use simple past 'wrote' instead of past perfect 'had written' because no earlier past event requires past perfect. 'The journey of me writing' is unnatural; use 'my journey of writing' or 'my journey in writing'.

× I remember that my mother discovered that I had written a poem which I now find as cringe but she encouraged me a lot.

✓ I remember that my mother discovered I had written a poem, which I now find cringeworthy, but she encouraged me a lot.

Maintain past perfect 'had written' for something discovered in the past is acceptable here, but 'find as cringe' is incorrect; use 'find cringeworthy' or 'find cringe' (informal). Add commas for clarity.

× In fiction, I like stories that are based in England because I like the I like Jane Austen novels and I prefer imagining myself as one of the characters visiting balls.

✓ In fiction, I like stories that are set in England because I like Jane Austen novels, and I enjoy imagining myself as one of the characters attending balls.

Use 'set in England' not 'based in England' for fictional settings. The phrase 'because I like the I like Jane Austen' is a duplication and must be fixed to 'because I like Jane Austen novels'. 'Visiting balls' is unnatural; use 'attending balls'. These changes correct sentence structure and word choice.