金钱— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and directly answer first, then give one or two clear supporting reasons with specific details. Avoid repetition and filler words (e.g., "umm", repeated phrases). Use linking words like "because" or "therefore" to connect ideas and finish your sentence fully. Aim for 3–4 sentences and include a brief example or consequence to make your point more concrete.

範例: No, I have never borrowed money from others because my parents supported me financially while I was growing up. Therefore I never needed to ask anyone for help, and I also avoid borrowing because it makes me feel anxious about having to repay the debt. For example, when friends ask to split costs I prefer to pay my share immediately to avoid owing anyone.

建議: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give a concise specific example with clear sequence using linking words like "because", "so", "since". Reduce informal fillers and correct minor grammar (e.g., "lent", not "learned"). Add a short reflection on how the experience changed your behavior. Keep to 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I once lent 20 dollars to a classmate in primary school, but he never returned it. Because of that experience, I realized not everyone is trustworthy, so I became more careful about lending money. Since then, I only lend small amounts to close friends and always set a clear time for repayment.

× No, I actually never borrow money from anybody because growing up my parents kind of provided all the stuff that I need.

✓ No, I actually never borrowed money from anybody because, growing up, my parents kind of provided all the things that I needed.

The sentence mixes present tense 'borrow' with past context 'growing up' and uses present 'need'. Use past tense 'borrowed' and 'needed' to match the past time frame; also 'stuff' is informal—'things' is more appropriate here. Add commas around the adverbial phrase 'growing up' for clarity.

× So I didn't have that, umm, necessity to borrow money from anybody.

✓ So I didn't have that necessity to borrow money from anybody.

The main issue is tense and redundancy: 'didn't have' is correct past tense, but the comma and filler 'umm' and the phrasing 'necessity to borrow' is awkward. Remove filler and unnecessary comma for fluency; the tense is already correct.

× And I also think it, it would be a burden for me because I always need to remember returning back.

✓ And I also think it would be a burden for me because I would always need to remember to return it.

Use of modal and verb forms is inconsistent. 'Would' fits hypothetical belief, so use 'would always need'. Replace 'remember returning back' (awkward and redundant) with 'remember to return it'. 'Returning back' is redundant because 'return' already implies back.

× And I also think it, it would be a burden for me because I always need to remember returning back.

✓ And I also think it would be a burden for me because I would always need to remember to return it.

The sentence lacks a clear object for 'returning'; include the pronoun 'it' to specify the money. Also correct verb construction as noted earlier. Remove duplicate 'it, it'.

× And I don't like being anxious. I don't like being.

✓ And I don't like feeling anxious; I don't like that feeling.

The original ends with an incomplete clause 'I don't like being.' which lacks an object or complement. Replace with a complete clause such as 'I don't like feeling anxious' or 'I don't like that feeling' to be grammatically complete.

× You know what, yes, I did.

✓ You know what, yes, I did.

This sentence is acceptable; it uses 'did' to answer a past-tense question. No correction needed.

× And it was only once, and I remember it was in my primary school where I learned 20 bucks to this boy, right?

✓ And it was only once, and I remember it was in primary school when I lent 20 bucks to a boy.

Use past tense 'lent' (not 'learned') for giving money. 'In my primary school' is better as 'in primary school' or 'when I was in primary school'; 'where' is less appropriate than 'when' for time. Use 'a boy' rather than 'this boy' for indefinite reference.

× And it was only once, and I remember it was in my primary school where I learned 20 bucks to this boy, right?

✓ And it was only once, and I remember it was in primary school when I lent 20 bucks to a boy.

Replace 'this boy' with 'a boy' for correct reference and change 'learned' to 'lent'. Also change 'where' to 'when' because the clause refers to time, not place.

× But he didn't return back to me ever since.

✓ But he never returned it to me.

'Didn't return back to me ever since' mixes past simple with 'ever since' incorrectly. Use 'never returned it to me' for a simple past assertion. Also 'return back' is redundant; use 'return' and include the object 'it'.

× And I still remember that incident because I was so innocent back then and I thought all people were great and were good and are trustworthy, but it turns out not.

✓ And I still remember that incident because I was so innocent back then and I thought all people were great, good, and trustworthy, but it turned out not to be true.

Tense inconsistency: 'I thought' (past) should be followed by past perspective 'it turned out' (past), not 'turns out'. Also 'were good and are trustworthy' mixes tenses; keep past 'were' or rephrase. Finish the sentence with 'to be true' for clarity.

× And I still remember that incident because I was so innocent back then and I thought all people were great and were good and are trustworthy, but it turns out not.

✓ And I still remember that incident because I was so innocent back then and I thought all people were great, good, and trustworthy, but it turned out not to be true.

The original is repetitive ('great and were good') and ends abruptly with 'but it turns out not', which is incomplete. Use parallel adjectives and a complete clause 'it turned out not to be true' to finish the thought.

× So it taught me a very brutal lesson.

✓ So it taught me a very harsh lesson.

Grammatically the sentence is acceptable, but 'brutal lesson' is slightly awkward in natural English; 'harsh lesson' or 'a hard lesson' is more idiomatic. Tense is correct (past 'taught').